Archive for the ‘Boys’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Would Like to Thank the Academy

Sassy eight-year-old to mother: You don't know Spanish except what you learned from Selena. –2 Train Chick on cell: Watching 27 Dresses in a cheetah robe… –110th & Broadway Overheard by: Virginia Little boy, as his mother asks for directions: Great, we're lost in New York City. It's like Home Alone! –Across from Spamalot Theatre Fag to hag: Don't you remember that time on Titanic when Leonardo DiCaprio told you not to just talk about it, but do it? He was gonna teach you how to spit like a man and ride a horse like a man, and then the ship sank and he died. This is your moment. Spit, woman, spit! –Natural History Museum (at a screening of The Shining)
Woman: Haha! How can a ghost open a door? This movie sucks! –Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park Thug to another: And she said she wanna go to the movies. And I said I don't wanna go to the movies, I want some pussy! –57th & 9th Overheard by: JPM Panhandler on train: Please, I can't afford the rent at the YMCA because they just raised it. So if anyone has some money or some food or something to drink, it would really help me out. Jesus loves people who help poor people. Also, don't forget to see the new summer blockbuster Hellboy II. It's really great. –F Train Overheard by: JB

Mom: Enjoy the Army, Sweetie

High school kid: I’m thinking of staying in the city for school.
Friend: Really?
High school kid: Yeah, I kinda want to stay in my apartment.
Friend: Oh, I thought it would be to party or something. Why would you want to live at home?
High school kid: Oh, don’t worry, I’m going to kick my mom out first. –Penn Station Overheard by: courtney

Wednesday One-Liners from H-E Double Hockey Sticks

Guy looking at books, to no one in particular: I don’t want to hear or see anything about the devil, demons, voodoo or big hairy black guys. –Barnes & Noble Overheard by: 153 Guy hawking pamphlets: How to sucker punch the devil right in the ass! –W 12th & Brodway Overheard by: Why didn’t I get that pamphlet?! Coworker about colleague: Every time he comes by here the number 666 comes up. –1250 Broadway Punk kid, walking past a group of nuns: Hail Satan! –Waverly & Greene Professor: I don’t want to be saved, I want to go to hell. I’ll meet interesting people there! –Cooper Union, Astor Place Overheard by: Hopefully not me! Crazy older lady screaming on cell: You what? You are buying soda? You are going to go to fucking hell! Don’t you remember the promise you made to god? You’re probably standing in line with some goddamn candy too. You are going to hell! –W Train Overheard by: DR G LUV

Wednesday One-Liner, Huh! What Is It Good For?

JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war. –Therapy Store Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars. –31St & Ditmars, Astoria Overheard by: Randi and Patrick (at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton! –Midtown Overheard by: Oh the irony 50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian. –Union Square Park Overheard by: Ksenia Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war! –7 Train

We Prefer to Think of Wednesday One-Liners as “Found Art”

Girl on cell: So I bought this air conditioner for my living room, and it's entirely too large for me to install by myself, because it weighs 78 lbs. No, seriously, I cannot even get it out of the box. I know–for the time being I'm just referring to it as a Duchamp "readymade." Ew! Don't you call me bohemian! –19th & 6th Art professor: You should look at Picasso and Matisse. These people will be more important to you than your family. Cousin Philly. I had a cousin Philly, and I loved him very much. But he's dead now. –Pratt Institute Overheard by: traPt Lawyer to friend, about Vincent van Gogh: You know, I could have gotten him disability. –Van Gogh Exhibit, MoMA Woman, discussing gallery: It was all modern stuff–but not, like, the kind of modern art that children can do. –20th & 5th Tourist boy: You can see his penis! It's not art if you can see his penis! –Petrie Court, Metropolitan Museum of Art