10-year-old boy #1: Hey sexy stars! Sexy ladies!
10-year-old boy #2: Hey, come give us blowjobs!
–Bensonhurst
Archive for the ‘Boys’ Category
Poo Poo Platter
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at your dick.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at ass.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at pussy.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at your balls.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You’re gay.
Little Chinese Boy #2: Faggot.
–W Train
“Only if you go to the right sites.”
Little boy: Mom, can I download you? –Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
Ask a New Yorker to Explain This One
Boy, 7: Daddy, I wanna see the Empire State Building.
Father: Sorry, son. That’s way uptown and we’re headed downtown.
–48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Christopher Mignemi
Satanic Fashion is Always Hot
Boy#1: So what are you going to do? Go to gospel choir practice or go shopping?
Boy#2: The sales are this week. God…is…forever.
Boy#1: …you may be going to Hell, but at least you’ll look good going.
–East Village
Overheard by: michi-L
He Meant Auto-fellated
Girl: “Teleported.” That’s what he said.
Boy: What?
Girl: You know, teleporting.
Boy: Oh, okay, yeah.
Girl: He said he teleported himself, but it turned out he was lying!
Boy: Really?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy
Do You Go to Baseball Games to Count the Errors?
12-year-old boy #1, watching movie set in Toronto: Those aren't even American coins!
12-year-old boy #2: No, dumbass, they're in Europe!
12-year-old boy #3: Yeah, they said they were in Canada!
–13th St & Broadway
Where There's Smoke, There's Wednesday One-Liner
Guy at ATM to friend: The $60 fast cash button should just be labeled "8th of weed."
–Chase Bank, Astor Place
Probation officer to juvenile: You think you can't get arrested for marijuana? Are you out of your damn mind? You're taking a drug test right now, you out-of-your-damn-mind son!
–Bronx Family Court
Overheard by: Adog
Guy to girlfriend: The more stoned I get, the better you sound.
–72nd St & Broadway
Guy: So then I smoked a goodnight bowl at Chris's.
–E 10th St
Overheard by: What about a good morning bowl?
20-something to friend: I'll save the world second, but I'll get high first.
–Houston & Essex
For the Same Reason Girls Do: to Forestall Intimacy
Guy #1: He knew he was gay!
Guy #2: He didn't know he was. He couldn't accept it.
Guy #1: Well, he accepted enough to suck a dick!
–24th & 7th
Don't Make Me Move You to the Midwest, Son
Cool black guy: I loooooves me some women. Ha, that's why I can't ever be gay, you know? (under breath) I loves me some women…
Young boy with him: I think a gay guy would say the same thing about men.
–E 14th St & 1st Ave