20-something girl: I'm an anti-feminist. It's not that women shouldn't be allowed to work, it's just that they shouldn't be expected to work.
20-something boy: Everyone works. Animals work. Do you have any idea how many eggs a chicken lays every day? Or how much milk comes out from a cow? That's why vegans don't like dairy products, because the cows are overworked.
20-something girl: I don't like dairy products because of this reason: human milk is for baby humans, and cow's milk is for baby cows. I don't really care how many eggs a chicken lays, though.
–Uptown A Train
Archive for the ‘Boys’ Category
If This Conversation Goes on for Much Longer, There Definitely Isn't a God.
Boy, after watching An Inconvenient Truth: Do you believe in god?
Girl: I believe in mother nature.
Boy: You don't believe in god?
Girl: I mean, I do… But I believe this is happening because of nature.
Boy: But you believe in her?
Girl: What?
Boy: Mother nature?
Girl: Mother nature is not like a person… It's just a saying for nature.
Boy: Wait… What? Oh… (pause) I thought she was like a tree or something.
–Regal Cinema, Union Square
Overheard by: Noeman Samdani
They Call Their Planet “Dirt“?
Man: Where are you from?
Boy: (silence)
Man: If someone asks you that, you say you are from Earth.
Boy: Earth.
Man: And then if someone asks you where on Earth, you say, “a continent.”
–1 Train
Overheard by: fayfayryryr2h
Also What Freshman Orientation Is Like at Cornell.
Girl #1: Ugh, Brooklyn Tech is so odd. But the kids are mad cool. We're all like demented nerds. It's your typical urban Brooklyn high school, but with super-genius kids. Super-genius kids that ain't right in da head. But ya know, we kick ass.
Girl #2: Damn straight! Dem otha kids got nuthin on us.
Boy: Yo, you guys are whack! No wonder you are here.
Crowd of kids: Word!
–DeKalb Ave
…So, Wanna Fuck?
Boy: Yeah, I'm just really bad at putting big things into little things.
Girl: Oh… Was that supposed to be sexual?
Boy: Nah. If it was sexual I would have ended it with “bowchickabowwow” or something.
–1 Train
Dude, I'd Kill You for Your Scooter.
Tween boy with scooter to friend with skateboard: If I died, would you take my scooter?
Friend: What?
Boy: If I died, right now, would you take my scooter, man?
–Columbus Circle
That's What You Said at the Neanderthal Exhibit!
Little Asian boy, reading sign: “Asian mammals”
Asian boy's father: That's you, Audrey!
–American Museum of Natural History
Simon Cowell: Your Wednesday One-Liner Was Just Horrible!
Crazy man, singing in deep tenor voice: Meow! Meowwwwwwww! Meowwwww! Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
White woman, singing: That's the way/uh-huh/uh-huh/I like it! Brrr! Cock-a-doodle-do!
–23rd St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Thug, quietly to friends: Daaaamn, yo! I just wanta teabag that ho! (starts singing loudly) Come back girl, I juss wanta teabag, o, I juss wanta teabag yo ass!
–Outside Tech College, 31st & 10th
Woman in bathroom stall, singing operatically: I don't have a care in the world! (sneezes) Oh my god! Damn it!
–Actor's Equity Building
Overheard by: Natalie
Boy, singing: Vagiiiiiiinas… They're eeeeverywhere, vagiiiiiinas…
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Hobo, singing: I don't neeeeed no money! (pause) Well, that's not exactly true, that's just the words to the song.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Chris K.
Among Frat Boys, That's the Real C-Word
Girl: It's weird: I'm a cross between a radical feminist and a frat boy.
Boy: It's because you love drinking and fucking.
Girl: And critical theory!
–Rudy's, 44th & 9th
Overheard by: holden caufield
We Also Would Have Accepted “Oprah”
Mother: I want you to always be safe whenever you're in the woods, a lake, or the mountains.
Boy: But I'm always in control!
Mother: No one's always in control.
Boy: What about Michael Phelps?
Mother: No. The only one always in control is…?
Boy, bored: God.
–The Strand
Overheard by: amused family member