Guy: Man, what you have to say is, ‘This is me. This is you. And this is the door!’ –Bedford Ave Overheard by: Mark P
Sleazeball: I don’t want to break up; I want to sleep with someone else. –Penang, UWS Overheard by: Phyllis Overstreet
Husband: How long were you running around with him?
Wife: It’s not your business.
Husband: It is. You don’t know how to behave. I have a crazy wife and I need to know if I should be with her or not. Think about it. Translated from the Russian. –Bleecker St. Station
Chick: You know how you wanted to call him up and say it’s not personal, you just want to be friends? Don’t. They need to be told. They don’t know that they’re idiots. –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Man: Her first husband told her he was gay after 7 years. Her second was a loveless marriage. And then she had coffee with me! –La Lanterna
Bodybuilder: Dude, I was ignoring all the RED FLAGS that were going up about my relationship! You GOTTA ask yourself whether you’re gonna let her do that to you! –71st & Broadway Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Businesschick: Are you still with that girl?
Businessguy: No. She kept trying to get me to go to AA. One night out with me and you’ll see..!
Businesschick: Oh, I’ve seen the aftermath. The stitches, the blood. –Midtown Office
Girl #1: I just don’t get it! He said they were just friends… But they were always hanging out. Then all of a sudden he dumps me!!
Girl #2: Girl friend, you’ve been Jolie’d! –C train
Guy on cell, to girlfriend: I have such a headache in my balls right now.
–49th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Michael
Very drunk boyfriend to drunk girlfriend: If you can't stay here, talk to me and make this right! I'm gonna have to be a man, grow some balls and leave you!
–140th St & Broadway
Man on crowded sidewalk: Balls to butts, people. Balls to butts.
Girl to friends: I'd totally teabag him, but I don't got no balls.
Girl on cell: Yeah, the breakup was tough, but I'm feeling good about it now! (pause) Hell, yes, I'm dating! (pause) Yeah, it's an exciting time! So much suspense, so many questions! Will he call me? Whom should I choose? Does he like me? Do I have syphilis?
Overheard by: All good questions
Drunk gay guy who just dropped lit cigarette: Shit! If I pick this up, do I have herpes?
–Waverly & University Place
Guy to friend: Nietzsche had syphilis… Why can't I?
Woman at newsstand: Do you sell anything for herpes and cold sores?
–W 4th St
Overheard by: wow…i didnt kno they sold that her
Gay man to girlfriend: Is Mr Syphilis coming?
–24th & 2nd
Overheard by: erkala