Preppy teenage boy on cell: I use the word "ex" as a coping mechanism. She can have her name back once I'm healed. –Grand Central Transvestite on cell: I'm changing my name from Angela to Rachel. Angela sounds very Disney. I don't feel like Disney. I feel like a hard sound, like Rachel. –Pelham Bay Park Black guy: Shit be fucked up. Niggas got bitches' names. Bitches got niggas' names. –26th & 8th Overheard by: Withnail Yuppie to another: You know, man, I think you say my name more than your wife's. –62nd & 2nd Overheard by: The Vonz Upper East Side girl, seriously: You know what the first thing I look for in a gentleman caller is? His name. –89th St & 3rd Ave
Asian chick: So that’s it, then?
Asian guy: Yep.
Asian chick: We’re breaking up, then?
Asian guy: Yep. A few minutes pass. Asian chick: Hey, you’d look good with that girl up there in the pink checked coat. –Empire State Building Overheard by: Taffy Doublewide
Chick: You know how you wanted to call him up and say it’s not personal, you just want to be friends? Don’t. They need to be told. They don’t know that they’re idiots. –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Man introducing lady friend to pal: This is Lucille, my ex-wife… She’s my second cousin… She was also my second wife. –136th St, Harlem Middle-aged woman: I have such a bad memory! I know, I know. I know. There are times I go to my daughter, ‘How do I spell my name?’ –D train Overheard by: Jess McGins Loud woman on cell: She’s evil! Don’t you know she killed mama? That’s the family secret! –Q83 bus Overheard by: It’s Jady, BiTChesss!! Guy talking on cell: I completely understand that she was pissed off, but I mean, come on! She did hit her sister in the head with an iron! –11th Ave Lady: So, I bought my niece a gift. I don’t know why… She’s such an ungrateful little bitch. –Grand Central Man on cell: … So she said, ‘There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’m just gonna say it… You have a four-year-old son.’ –26th & Park Overheard by: Nick
White guy talking about his ex-girlfriend: Then she was like “Oh, I’m getting married. I want you to be part of my wedding.” She was like “You can be my brides-man.”
Even whiter friend: What? Like a groom?
White guy: No! A brides-man. –6 Train Overheard by: playtoe
Girl #1: He told her she was too fat?
Girl #2: Yeah, he broke up with her.
Girl #1: That's terrible!
Girl #2: Well, she did get kind of fat. –Nail Salon, 18th & 5th Overheard by: Rachel
Husband: How long were you running around with him?
Wife: It’s not your business.
Husband: It is. You don’t know how to behave. I have a crazy wife and I need to know if I should be with her or not. Think about it. Translated from the Russian. –Bleecker St. Station
Girl #1: He, he, he, just brrroke uuup with meee!
Girl #2: How, isn't he in Alaska?
Girl #1: No! Well, what do you mean? I was talking to my dad, the phone just broke up. I wasn't talking about him, I was talking about my dad!
(girls #1 and 2 laugh) –Central Park Overheard by: Anna
Girl #1: His back was so hairy! His back hair was like thick curls!
Girl #2: Ew! Ew! Ugh, whatever. It’s a good thing he dumped you. At least you don’t have to deal with that.
Girl #1: Ah, yes, I was dumped by the yeti. Fuckin’ fantastic. –Library, Columbia University
Chick #1: You know, just go with your first instinct.
Chick #2: What?! I don’t want to kill him! –Hayden residence hall, NYU