Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks oddly: Listen girl, I farted so hard yesterday I blasted half my ass off. (pause) No, seriously! I am still walking funny! –24th St b/w 6th & 7th Overheard by: Joseph Teenage boy to another: One time this hot bitch farted on my lap, and I didn't know what to do. –12th St & University Place Crazy hobo sitting on blanket: I used to wear underwear, but then I farted and left a stain, so decided no more. Can anyone spare any change? –87th & Broadway Overheard by: Nynanny Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I'm a Southern girl. I fart crawfish. –McLean Ave, Yonkers Woman on phone: Well, the romance is out of my life: this morning Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and farted. –Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brooklyn Overheard by: craig hunter
British guy: Hey, look, an eye patch. This will look great with my smoking jacket.
British girl: What costume will that be?
British guy: Costume? I just think it will look good. –Party City, Union Square Overheard by: Charlie
British girl: So, why are you here?
White British guy with headband, wearing an afghan: To spread joy throughout the world.
British girl: …ah. –E 15th St Overheard by: Someone who certainly felt joy after overhearing this
Old british man, to liquor store employees: Have any of you ever tried this beer?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Nah.
Old british man: Oh, it’s a splendid Belgian stout, very sweet. It’s my absolute favorite variety of Belgian beer. You should try it sometime. It is absolutely divine, a tastebud sensation the likes of which I can guarantee you’ve never known. Well, have a great night, chaps. [Pays for his beer and walks out.]
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Yo, dog, you hear that guy’s accent? You think his accent was real?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: Nah.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: I don’t think so, either.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: It couldn’t have been real. You hear that guy? He ain’t from no foreign country. He spoke perfect English. –Liquor Store, Manhattan Overheard by: daile
British chick: Why did the sun have to set?
British guy: It has something to do with the movement of the earth.
British chick: Buy whyyyyyyyyy? It's colllldddd. –Columbus Circle
Guy to security guard: We're not fucking tourists, man, we're just trying to get back to our home in Jersey. –Port Authority Overheard by: Confabulation Nation Metrosexual guy: There are two kinds of people I will never, ever, date. One are people who are culturally ignorant. The second is people from New Jersey. –45th & 5th Overheard by: Mr. Pink Proper British woman to loud drunk guy: Go back to Jersey! –BB King Concert, Christ United Church Overheard by: bb Uptight 40-something white guy: I can't wait to get safely back in New Jersey! –A Train Overheard by: JoshBob
Suit to another: He was just lucky not to be fucking someone in his family! –Trump Building Overheard by: Guess I'm lucky too Gamer on headset: Dude, you are not listening to me. You can't hear me. You know why? Because you have no ears. You're the product of two retarded cousins fucking each other. –Queens Girl: He looks like my uncle… the one I'm really attracted to. –Governors Island ferry Overheard by: boring Male passerby: I wouldn't fuck my family, but… –4th Ave & 11th St Overheard by: Jessica British professor wearing bow tie: It's fascinating just how exciting incest is! –Silver Center, NYU
Barista: Sir, you can pay for the juice over there.
Middle-aged Brit: But I bought it.
Barista: No you didn’t.
Middle-aged Brit: Yes, I did — at another place.
Barista: Yeah, oookay [rolls eyes].
Middle-aged Brit: I really did.
Barista: Yeah, oookay.
Middle-aged Brit: What the fuck is your problem?
Barista: Well, you just stole juice, and you’re being an ass, so you can leave now.
Middle-aged Brit: Excuse–
Old lady Brit: –Alexander, just stop talking! He could shoot you! –Starbucks, Fashion District Overheard by: only in new york
British white guy with dreads: Where are we?
Girl: 34th Street.
British white guy with dreads: 34th Street? Isn't that where that miracle happened? –34th St Overheard by: GV
Train conductor: (mumbling)
British suit: So you understood what he just said?
New Yorker: Of course.
British suit: Well, what did he say?
New Yorker: He said, “Shut the fuck up, you fucking foreigner, you're on a train and you'll be home soon.” –1 Train Overheard by: KeivonK