Guy to security guard: We're not fucking tourists, man, we're just trying to get back to our home in Jersey.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Metrosexual guy: There are two kinds of people I will never, ever, date. One are people who are culturally ignorant. The second is people from New Jersey.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Mr. Pink
Proper British woman to loud drunk guy: Go back to Jersey!
–BB King Concert, Christ United Church
Overheard by: bb
Uptight 40-something white guy: I can't wait to get safely back in New Jersey!
–A Train
Overheard by: JoshBob
Archive for the ‘Brits’ Category
You Can Always Tell the Public Service Employees Who Have Kids
Well-dressed British lady: Driver, what's the next stop?
Bus driver: I'm not letting you off until you pay your fare. Don't ask me again.
–M31 Bus
Overheard by: Nora
I Wouldn't Expect Someone Who Uses Words Like “Elevator” and “Stroller” to Understand
British chick: I love my sneakers! They are designed to tone my calves.
American friend: Your sneakers are like the Twighlight vampires, lame and sparkly.
British chick: Yeah, but I'm gonna have the best calf muscles!
American friend: Okay!
–AMC Loews Kips Bay Theatre Movie
That's “None Of Your Fucking Business, Cunt” in New Yorker Speak
Guy #1, entering cafe, to tourist holding door: I'm not giving you a fucking tip!
Guy #2, quietly: You're welcome.
(woman comes in, guy #2 holds door again, woman nods politely)
Woman: You're not from round here, are you?
Guy #2, in British accent: Apparently.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Calas
Yes, Once Upon a Time, the Knicks Won
British white guy with dreads: Where are we?
Girl: 34th Street.
British white guy with dreads: 34th Street? Isn't that where that miracle happened?
–34th St
Overheard by: GV
Well, He Did Say New York– Not New Yorkers.
Old British man: I would take New York over any city.
American woman: Even England?
–87th & 2nd
Are You Dumb or Is That Just Stupidity?
Dumb blonde girl to guy: Are you from England or is that just a British accent?
British guy: Uh, yeah.
–SoHo Billiards
Overheard by: Cory
Mrs. Claus Means Business.
Guy: What if I shave?
British chick: Then we're going to have a problem!
–New York Film Academy, Union Square
Sacha Baron Cohen, Is That You?
Drunk British guy to woman with small dog: My god, your dog is beautiful!
Woman: Thanks.
(British guy leans down and makes sexual motions near dog)
Woman: Stop, oh my god!
British guy, getting up: Lady, can you not see that I'm just trying to appreciate a beautiful dog! (runs away)
–Ave A & 9th St
Which She Does Every Weekend!
Guy with British accent: I can't believe she blew me off again! It's not even like she had Jay-Z tickets!
Girl with British accent: No, she was just getting drunk with an Irishman!
–8th Street & Broadway
Overheard by: amalthya