Archive for the ‘Brits’ Category

Frankly, I Don't Give a Dam.

Girl drafting floor plan: I've decided I'm going to open a funeral parlor that's sleek, modern and sophisticated. Someplace that doesn't look like your grandma just died there.
Female British classmate: That's awesome. My big idea is to start a protection service for lesbians.
Girl drafting floor plan: Like, security?
Female British classmate: No. Like, safe sex?

–Interior Design Class, FIT

Wednesday One-Liner Can Drink Milk As Adults

Crazy guy (inexplicably overjoyed): Heyyyyy! White people!

–1 Train

Gay black man on cell: She is such a delicate white cunt, she can't raise her own child. She needs a Jamaican man to do it.

–45th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Kristy Magyar

Angry black guy: I swear to god I'm bout to start slappin' white people.

–Union Station

Overheard by: scared white guy

White English guy to Anglo-Filipino chick: I don't think we'll be welcome there because we're white.

–Nostrand & St. Mark's, Brooklyn

Black guy: Man, I love white people, and I never shot anybody!

–Times Square

Panicked child: Mommy, why are there so many white people here?

–Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting