Archive for the ‘Broadway Shows’ Category

Cue the Least Romantic Song Ever

Thug #1: Kelly Bundy’s dancing on Broadway.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: She broke both her legs. I think she in a wheelchair.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: I bet she dance good. She hot.
Thug #2: I’d break her clit if I had the chance. –F train Girl: If I hear another show tune out of context I think I’m going to vomit. Physically vomit. You know that feeling?
Guy: Uh, no. –42nd between 9th & 10th

Wednesday One-Liners Say the Neon Lights Are Bright

Guy: Now, you know I want Tarzan the Musical to be a giant flop, but… –54th & Broadway Ghetto teen, watching Sutton Foster sing “You’ve Got Possibilities” from It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman!, the musical: Maybe these crackers be famous, but it’s Broadway. This shit sucks. –Central Park Overheard by: warren freeman Tourist chick, on cell: On Wednesday, we’re going to see The DirectorsThe DirectorsThe Directors. C’mon, you know, The Directors! Oh, I mean The Producers! –Sidestreet Saloon, Staten Island Overheard by: Johnny Drongo

Wednesday One-Liners Get a Hoboner

Hobo: I am homeless and ashy. Can anyone spare some lotion? I want to go from ashy to classy. –A Train Overheard by: SBroto Hobo: If looks could kill I'd be dead. Kind words don't hurt nobody. I give sandwiches. –Shuttle to Grand Central Overheard by: alan b hutscar Panhandler, holding top hat overflowing with bills: And take your newspapers and personal belongings with you, I got company comin' over tonight! –4 Train Overheard by: Anthony LoDuca Hobo: You think anyone ever went to Harvard and forgot about it? –Central Park Hobo, near no tripping hazards or holes: Watch your step! Don't fall! Look where you're going! Don't fall down! –4th & Broadway Singing hobo: I'm gonna be on Broadway! You're all invited! I don't care what you look like. Even you! (points to random man) –1 Train

Wednesday One-Liners Get Swept Away in Masses Of Humanity

Tourist: Hey look, it's 42nd Street! They named it after a Broadway show. –Times Square Overheard by: Really? REALLY!?! Tourist dad, as shuttle to Grand Central comes in: No! We need to take the purple to Grand Central Station, then the green! –Times Square Shuttle Platform Overheard by: D-Law Male tourist, watching stranger propose underneath Christmas tree: Hey buddy, did you go to Jared? –Rockefeller Center Southern tourist lady, as subway stops: Oh no, I think the train ran out of gas! –F Train Overheard by: Matt Southern tourist: I guess the birds ate all the hands off the statues. –The Cloisters, Harlem Overheard by: M@

Wednesday One-Liners Have a Two-Drink Minimum

Flyer guy: Smile, you're on Broadway! (singing) You're never fully dressed…when you're naked! (stops singing) So come to New York's best improvisational comedy club! Be there, or be someplace else! –Times Square Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy Annoying man outside comedy club, to passerby: Do you like stand-up comedy? (passerby ignores him keeps walking) Do you like free alcohol? (passerby keeps walking) Do you like ignoring me? (passerby turns head and nods) –Broadway Overheard by: Wojo Comedy show ticket salesman to couple: So, what are you two doing tonight…besides each other? –Broadway & 49th St Overheard by: Theo Ticket guy to walking couple: Do you like comedy or do you just do each other? Maybe that's all you need. –51st & 8th Overheard by: PartyByNight Street vendor: Want to see a comedy show for $10? Free drinks! Cheaper than crack cocaine! –42nd St & 7th Ave Overheard by: gradstudent Comedy club flyer guy: Blah, blah, blah, take my flyer! –Times Square Overheard by: No flyer, but props for the delivery

There's No Wednesday One-Liners Like Show Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster Pee-wee Herman lookalike to friend: Oh, and when I give her anilingus to let me direct a show? You're totally gonna be in it! –Q Train Overheard by: Flea Man: I believe some of this will be made up. –Going into Wicked, Broadway Overheard by: CAM Black highschool girl: Oh my god, why do they keep singing? —In the Heights, Broadway Musical Overheard by: Cookie Woman in Jersey accent: Is this the one about the boy who wants to be a horse or the girl who wants to be a fish? –At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre Overheard by: HarlemRy Daniel Radcliffe fan girl: I have to be in this show some day. Even if I'm eighty, I gotta be in this show with him. I'd be like, "put it in me! Put it in me!" –At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre Overheard by: Nikki Man leaving Hair: Well, that beats the hell outta Shakespeare! –Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park