Guy: Success is always coming between us. It’s always been that way, and will continue to be that way. –Pay phone, Cobble Hill
Hipster #1: I know that I should know this, but when did Castro die or get overthrown?
Hipster #2: Uh, he’s still in power.
Hipster #1: Oh, that explains why it’s still illegal for us to travel to Cuba.
Hipster #2: Yeah. –Motorcycle Diaries showing, Brooklyn Art Museum
A woman is throwing up on the street. Another woman comes to her aid.
Florence Nightingale: Are you OK?
Pukerella: No, that’s OK. I just got somethin’ stuck in my throat. –Teachers College, Morningside Heights Overheard by: Derek Bacharach
Drunk: You are here all the time! How are you here all the time? I come in at 2PM, you’re here. I come in at 5PM, you’re here. You are always here! When do you sleep?
Cashier: I am a twin. –Park Slope bodega, 5AM
Old school Brooklyn guy: They closed off 150 blocks in DC for this inauguration and where do you think all the people that live on those blocks are gonna park, if not here in the five boroughs? –Greenpoint Overheard by: Didi Hylobates
Yuppie: Democracy only works when you work to make the laws you want happen. Have you ever worked to get a law passed?
Hipster: Yes, I have, as a matter of fact!
Yuppie: Okay. What issue was it, and what did you do?
Hipster: Give me some time to think about it, I’m sure that I once did something but I don’t remember it this second. – Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Two boys were playing on a fire escape. Boy #1: Okay. Now I’ll be the policeman, and you be the fireworks on Coney Island. –Windsor Terrace
Screaming Black woman: Don’t you raise a knife to me! Don’t threaten me! That is not professional service! Don’t you know how to serve customers? Never raise a knife to a customer! You’re just lucky that there isn’t a black man in here. –To the man behind the counter in Dunkin Donuts, downtown Brooklyn
Dude #1: That party was fun. It was hot, though.
Dude #2: Yeah, it smelled like hot ass in there. –Loews Hotel, Lexington & 51st Guy: Yo, she smelled like dead hell! –Flatbush
The cashier scans an old lady’s ricotta cheese.
Cashier: Why didn’t you get the bigger one?
Old Lady: ‘Cause I’ll eat it all! This way I have a limit. –Waldbaum’s, Bensonhurst