Archive for the ‘Brooklyn’ Category

Just Wait 'Til You Have Wednesday One-Liners Of Your Own!

Ghetto guy herding large group of rowdy kids off train: Scuse me, scuse me, scuse me! Lotta kids, they all ain't mine!

–C Train

Overheard by: Julie S.

Professional woman on cell: I mean, she said she'd finally come to the place where she realizes her kids are shit, and she can just wash her hands off the whole situation and be done with it!

–40th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Rachel

Receptionist to UPS guy: Shit, I got five kids, and they're all bad.

–6th Ave & 47th

Overheard by: thanks mom

Angry woman, yelling on phone: Nigga, don't give me that "parenting role" shit!

–Flatbush Ave & Park Place, Brooklyn

Concerned mother: He's not even potty-trained, all he does is eat the toilet paper.

–University Pl & 8th St

Overheard by: Justin

Ironic, but Not without Hope

Chick #1: What’s going on with these shopping carts?
Chick #2: It’s the race where people get drunk and dress up in stupid costumes.
Chick #1: Costumes?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Oh! I saw five guys dressed up as apostles down on Bedford earlier today! I thought they were just being ironic.

–Franklin Ave, Brooklyn

McDonald’s? Are You Trying to Kill Me?

Barefoot hobo grabbing tourist by shoulders: Gimme your shoes, nigga!
Blonde tourist #1: Take my McDonald’s! Don’t rape me!
Blonde tourist #2: Rape her! She’s prettier than me!

–15th & 5th, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Julieee

I’m Guessing Someplace in Long Island

Chick #1: Hey, guess what I found out?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: Bugs Bunny is from Brooklyn!
Chick #2: That’s bullshit. Last time I checked, Bugs Bunny lived in a hole, not a brownstone.
Chick #1: Ha, ha! I love you. I swear, you’re so witty sometimes. I’m not even kidding.
Chick #2: I know, right? I don’t know where I come up with this stuff. –Rockefeller Plaza