Archive for the ‘Brooklyn’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Always PC

Young teen girl: I've done cybersex so often I forgot how to type with two hands. –A Train Suit on cell: I have nothing to blog about. I have nothing to video blog about. Man, yesterday I had to force myself to tweet! –Uptown 4 Train Overheard by: cowgirly Girl selling peaches to another: Yeah, my dad was so unsympathetic when I told him my computer crashed that I went straight to the Apple store and charged a new hard drive to his credit card. I was really proud of myself. –Fort Greene Farmers Market Overheard by: Morning Glory Teenage girl to friend: I don't see why we're even here. We could see all this stuff on the internet for free. –Metropolitan Museum Overheard by: Derek

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The Village Bicycle’s Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: So I asked my doorman if I brought anyone home with me last night and he said he didn’t know! I told him it’s his job to know! –Outside 145th subway station Hipster girl: Santa is a man whore! –45th & 8th College girl: And then we’re having what I thought was a nice one night stand, and then, he’s all like "what are you doing?" –Washington Square Park Overheard by: silvver Indian girl: I need to up my sex number. I either wanna sleep with a professor or a celebrity. (long pause) Wait! Professors are like celebrities! –72nd and Amsterdam Overheard by: Vincent Teen girl to friend: … And then my mom said to me "don’t be a ho." –Union Square Overheard by: Lotte Girl: She is such a fuckin’ slut. (Pause, then indignantly) How you gonna sleep with someone for four dollars? –Bergen and Smith

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Jurassic Wednesday One-Liners

College guy: These are the best dinosaurs I've eaten all day! –Fordham University, Lincoln Center Campus Ecstatic five-year-old girl: The dinosaurs! I can't wait to see the dinosaurs! –Metropolitan Museum of Art Overheard by: Miss Guided Hippie girl: Yeah, I don't know about the eyeballs, but the dinosaurs are great! –39th St & 8th Ave Overheard by: Natalie Girl on stoop: Yo, man, I wish our dinosaurs could talk. –St. Mark's & 3rd Overheard by: Anna P. Girl on cell: Because–you know what? Because I don't etch on my DVDs with pterodactyls! –Court Street, Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: Danielle Guy rooting through trash: If you were a dinosaur I'd be a dinosaur right beside you. –W 80th & Amsterdam

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Getting Wednesdayed Is Easy; Staying One-Linered Is Hard

Man to woman: Well, I've already been in two successful marriages… –Hudson River Park Talkative husband to blase wife: We've been married for over a year, who would not like us? –F Train Overheard by: Elise Girl: So, when you say "married," is that like "married-and-just-not-divorced-yet," or like "married-married-and-actually-living-together"? –6 Train Woman on cell: Well, it's a good thing you didn't marry Susan's brother, because he ended up losing a testicle. –DUMBO, Brooklyn Overheard by: Megan Woman on cell: Sorry, but if I wanted to be heavily sedated and drunk all day, I'd marry you. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Josh Guy with eye patch: If a girl eats out your ass on the first date, you marry her! –77th & 34th

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Wednesday One-Liners Would Like to Thank the Academy

Sassy eight-year-old to mother: You don't know Spanish except what you learned from Selena. –2 Train Chick on cell: Watching 27 Dresses in a cheetah robe… –110th & Broadway Overheard by: Virginia Little boy, as his mother asks for directions: Great, we're lost in New York City. It's like Home Alone! –Across from Spamalot Theatre Fag to hag: Don't you remember that time on Titanic when Leonardo DiCaprio told you not to just talk about it, but do it? He was gonna teach you how to spit like a man and ride a horse like a man, and then the ship sank and he died. This is your moment. Spit, woman, spit! –Natural History Museum (at a screening of The Shining)
Woman: Haha! How can a ghost open a door? This movie sucks! –Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park Thug to another: And she said she wanna go to the movies. And I said I don't wanna go to the movies, I want some pussy! –57th & 9th Overheard by: JPM Panhandler on train: Please, I can't afford the rent at the YMCA because they just raised it. So if anyone has some money or some food or something to drink, it would really help me out. Jesus loves people who help poor people. Also, don't forget to see the new summer blockbuster Hellboy II. It's really great. –F Train Overheard by: JB

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