Archive for the ‘Brothers’ Category

This Actually Makes Me Want to Have Kids

Eight-year-old brother speaking to four year old brother in high pitched witches voice: First I’ll burn you to a black crisp in a huge oven, then I’ll start with your flesh…
Four-year-old: What will it taste like?
Eight-year-old brother, without pausing: It will taste like a delicious steak, then I ‘ll eat your teeth and they’ll taste like crackers! But your hair, your hair will be completely burned off.
Four-year-old: [Giggles maniacally.]

–C Train

Overheard by: never having kids

I’m So Fast, They Call Me the Chrysler Building

Two male twins, dressed alike, in their 20s, address two female twins, dressed alike, in their 20s. Male twins: Hey! Are you twins?! You twins?! That’s great! We’re twins too! Hey, we’re twins too!
Female twins: Mmmhmm.
Male twins: You ain’t twins! You lesbians! She look like she wanna get it on with you! You ain’t twins! Hey, I’m just tryin’ ‘a help ya out! You ain’t twins.
Female twins: [silence]
Male twins: I’m just tryin’ a help you out! I have your best interest in mind! You ain’t twins! Look! That one’s that one’s mother!
Female twins: We’re twins. We are the same age.
Male twins: Then how come that one so much older than the other? You ain’t twins! We twins! That’s why we so tall! We the twin towers! Female twins flee train. –F train