Archive for the ‘Brothers’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Have Fifty Nursery School Rejection Letters

Two-year-old boy to mom: And after dinner, it's butt-shaking time! –Brooklyn Heights Tot in stroller: Mommy, I want the tabouleh… Mommy! My tabouleh! –Food Emporium Little brother pestering older brother playing PSP: What do you like better, Nutella or A-Rod? –Stanton Tailor Shop Two-year-old, after falling to floor when train swerved: Mother, I resent that. –G Train Overheard by: Sunny

The Joy Luck Wednesday One-Liners

20-something guy on cell: I'm sure she wants to castrate me. (pause) Remember her Asian friend, well… (pause) Yeah, I hit that. (pause, then uncontrollable laugh) I gots the yellow fever! –59th St & 11th Chinese brother to sister: All Asians get off at this stop. (looking out window) See? They're all Asian. (pause) Oh, wait, there's one English guy. –Grand Street Stop, D Train Overheard by: Justin W Asian girl on cell: You know how people say all Asians look the same? Well, I realized something today. All white people look the same to me–I honestly can't tell them apart! –Port Authority 20-something Asian girl on cell, in perfect American English: So, I just got welcomed to America for the second time today. Are my clothes that… (with disgust) Asian? –Metro-North Overheard by: RedShikari

Grandma Got Run Over by a Wednesday One-Liner

SUV driver to pedicab trying to make its way through the snow: Hey, buddy! I got a reindeer, ya wanna buy it? –8th Ave & 48th St Loud 13-year-old: Shut the fuck up, it's almost Christmas. –B Train Overheard by: Taylor Middle-aged guy on cell: You'll never guess what I'm doing for Christmas. You'll never guess in a million years. (pause) Uhm, yeah, that's pretty close. –8th Ave Guy dressed in Santa costume on cell: Stop being such a weenie! –Midtown Angry little girl to older brother: If you don't let Santa out of our closet I will! –Prospect Park Overheard by: Taylor