Archive for the ‘Bryant Park’ Category

Fully Automatic Water-Cooled Assault Wednesday One-Liners

Four-year-old boy: I have gun! Gun, gun, gun, gun, gun! –Gate, Newark Airport Overheard by: minkey Man on phone: Yo! The last time I saw that nigga I shot at that nigga! –43rd & 7th Overheard by: Alex Guy with facial piercings: My mom’s such a bitch. She’s like, ‘I don’t want any guns or drugs in the house!’ and I was like, ‘Fuck you, Mom!’ –Penn Station Woman on cell: Kings County is the best hospital to go to if you get shot in New York. –14th & Union Square Overheard by: Mole Thug kid to thug friends: I don’t do shootings. And besides, this is my stop. –7 train, Queens Overheard by: Mrs. LeClair

Like Spiders Do

Law school girl wannabe #1: Maybe I can sell my eggs for like $50,000.
Law school girl wannabe #2: But what happens if your kid is out there dating their brother or sister?
Law school girl wannabe #1: That's a good point… There's a chance that would happen.
Law school girl wannabe #2: That's why you need to follow up on your eggs and find them in the real world, and check in on them. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Jack Handy

Wednesday One-Liners and the People Who Love Them

Marketing girl: Would you like to try a new perfume? It's for you and your pet! –Bryant Park, Outside Fashion Week Tents Overheard by: jycho Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com. –Student Center, Barnard Overheard by: Kristine Man trying to sell comedy club tickets: Cheaper than an abortion! More entertaining than the crucifixion! More fun than euthanizing your pets! –50th Ave & Broadway Overheard by: Colleen Queer on cell: Well, women are just pets for straight men. –E 10th St Woman on cell: So are you going to tell your daughter that you ate her pet? –20th St & 1st Ave Overheard by: Jesse S G

Wednesday One-Liners Like to Watch

Girl on phone: This is so crazy because I was just watching Gossip Girl and I was like: "Oh my god, no one has dinner at Butter!" But then you just called me and invited me to dinner at Butter! It’s totally out of control. –Barnard College Man: The Tudors is like Law & Order for British actors. If you can’t get a job anywhere else, there’s always that. –Cort Theater Overheard by: office peon Young man to friend: It’s called Tudor Place. Hey, you know that show on showtime, The Tudors? Maybe it’s that family and they moved over here. Because the buildings do look old. –Bryant Park Hipster: I watched Lost one time. I watched Lost one time! A big monsoon was coming and some dude closed a door on it. Closed a door on the monsoon! I was like: "Fuck this, I’m done." –Outside an Irish Pub, 54th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: jon Soccer mom: Charles in Charge was a consistently good show. –51st St & 8th Ave

We Blame Barbie for This Conversation.

All beauty, no brains brunette: No, John, he's not all the way black, his mom is white and his dad is black. He's just like 1/16th black, or whatever that comes out to.
John: Dude, really? I take it math wasn't your strong point in school. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Sky