Archive for the ‘Bryant Park’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Were “Working Late”

Girl to friend: Get all your cheating in before you are married! –Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway Angry dude on cell: Well I bet you enjoyed fucking him last night while I was sitting outside your house watching! –Hudson & Morton Guy on cell: Hey sweetie… Oh, you’re so out of breath! Did you just finish having sex? [Pause.] Oh, okay, great. Just give me a call later! –85th & 2nd [Boy and girl are making out on a bench.]
Girl, pulling away: You should really break up with her! [Make out session continues.] –Entrance to Central Park at West 85th St Overheard by: Bex Man to woman, after kissing her for 20 minutes: C’mon, let’s go find your husband and my wife. –Bryant Park Man talking to friend in hallway: And so he says to me: "I never promised that I wouldn’t try to sleep with your wife." –Basement, Mt Sinai Hospital Overheard by: scrubs Checkout girl to another: He said it wasn’t cheating because I’m his favorite. –Food Emporium, 68th & Broadway Overheard by: David

A 20-something Has an Intern?

20-something girl #1: She’s so fucked in the brain — I can’t believe it. My intern wants an intern. Oh, God.
20-something girl #2, dreamily: Hmmm, makes me want to pee on her head.
20-something girl #1: You’d really be doing me a favor. –Bryant Park

Fully Automatic Water-Cooled Assault Wednesday One-Liners

Four-year-old boy: I have gun! Gun, gun, gun, gun, gun! –Gate, Newark Airport Overheard by: minkey Man on phone: Yo! The last time I saw that nigga I shot at that nigga! –43rd & 7th Overheard by: Alex Guy with facial piercings: My mom’s such a bitch. She’s like, ‘I don’t want any guns or drugs in the house!’ and I was like, ‘Fuck you, Mom!’ –Penn Station Woman on cell: Kings County is the best hospital to go to if you get shot in New York. –14th & Union Square Overheard by: Mole Thug kid to thug friends: I don’t do shootings. And besides, this is my stop. –7 train, Queens Overheard by: Mrs. LeClair