Archive for the ‘Bryant Park’ Category

Look, You Tied Your Shoes All by Yourself Today! Hoorah!

Straight-looking young guy: So this is gay pride, huh?
Gay-looking friend: Yep, this is it. Whoo hooo!
Straight-looking young guy: I wish I had something to be proud of.
Gay-looking friend: That's kinda sad on such a gay day like today! Come on, let's get a drink. I will be proud for both of us. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Myklstarr

Wednesday One-Liners Pee a Lot

Dramatically upset woman outside bathroom: I knew I had to pee before, but I chose not to! And now I'm facing the consequences! –La Lanterna, The Village Overheard by: Sunny Woman holding child: Does looking at the fountain make you have to pee? It makes mommy have to pee. It's only natural. –Bryant Park Guy to friend: No, seriously, I think I legit peed on that guy! –30th St & 9th Ave Guy on cell: No, I will not urinate with you! –The Met Woman in turtleneck to suit: I mean, people shouldn't only eat when they're hungry. (pause) Or go to the bathroom when they have to… only. That's like, bad for your bladder! –86th St & 5th Ave Woman on cell: I don't care about them. I don't care about their urine. I don't care about their office! –Court & Carroll, Brooklyn

Wednesday One-Liners Grow Hair on Their Palms

Preppy guy to preppy friends: So then she's throwing these nerf balls at me while I'm furiously beating off on her couch… –Chinatown Girl: Masturbation's not really my thing, but I need to be more self-sufficient. –N Train Angst 20-something on cell: Ya, I miss riding my bike, it made my ass look so good… Fuck! I just want to go home, smoke some weed, and masturbate. –Central Park Overheard by: kate Guy: I hope this bus gets caught in a traffic jam! (looks down out of window) You may see people jacking off in their cars. –MegaBus, Top Deck Overheard by: EuropanGal 20-something girl on cell: Yeah, he's a big dork. Ya know what else he uses? Calculators. But that's just to masturbate. –Macdougal & 4th Overheard by: Billy H. Young women on cell: Oh. My. God! You will never guess who got married! (pause) The masturbator! –Bryant Park

Control-Alt-Wednesday One-Liners

Lady with no teeth to bathroom attendant: I love your sparkly eyeshadow! The doctor who did my second abortion had the same eyeshadow! –Public Restroom, Bryant Park Overheard by: Slydell Girl on cell: I would rather have diabetes than get an abortion. –Columbia University Overheard by: Kári Emil Asian hipster girl: Abortion, abortion, abortion, Aids! –NYU Dorm Overheard by: i'll take the next elevator Teen on cell: I've never been a fan of abortion, but if we could just make this little mistake go away. –Penn Station Hipster girl to friends: I mean, I think it should be a choice. Like, I'm not pro-abortion. Actually, I am pro-abortion. I think we should all have been aborted. Our parents made the wrong choice. –2 Train Guy on cell: I've pooped in the bushes and an abortion clinic, but never on the floor. –The Gate, Park Slope Overheard by: Nathan