Archive for the ‘Bryant Park’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Still Waiting for Those Boy Scouts to Come Out

Hot girl on cell: You got cockblocked by cancer! (pause, then very seriously) Is your pussy still radioactive? –Upper East Side Grown man talking to grown woman: You know the sandy vagina? –32nd & 8th Street man to slutty-looking hipsters: Freeze! Drop your drawers! We've got your pussy surrounded! –2nd Ave Overheard by: Maureen 30-something woman on cell: I like to use a blowdryer on the… uh… vaginas. –D Train Girl, screaming into cell: No, I will not give you my vagina! –Bryant Park Overheard by: Can I borrow it?

Fifth: Dick.

Young woman #1, before movie starts: I'm gonna go.
Young woman #2: Why? Don't go.
Young woman #1: I'm gonna meet up with my man.
Young woman #2: Come on! Don't you want to stay for the movie?
Young woman #1: I'm gonna leave now cause: first of all… booty call. Second of all… dick. Third of all… dick. Fourth… my man is sick and I have Tums with me. –Movie, Bryant Park

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Have Room in Their Closets Anymore

Gay guy to friend: I woke up this morning with a condom hanging out my butt. Was that you? –Madison Square Park Gay 30-something: Ugh, Borat quotes are like the UGG boot of conversation. –Broadway & Spring Really gay guy to friend: You don't know about the Holy Trinity? It's Liza, Judy and Barbra! –Fort Washington Ave. & 183rd St Overheard by: RED Flamboyant gay: My hair's too straight. I need to gay it up a bit. –Bryant Park Flamboyant guy: My life in New York has been more fabulous than I ever thought! I almost hit Elaine Stritch with a car this weekend! –W 18th St Overheard by: Dan Friedman

We Can Spot Fake Wednesday One-Liners a Mile Away

Exasperated woman on phone: It's a phone interview! What does it matter what type of boobs I have? –Office Building, 32nd & 7th Overheard by: erkala Girl, after guy accidentally hit her boob: Ow! You should be squeezing them, not hitting them! –Toys R' Us, Times Square Overheard by: Lotte Upper West Side girl to friend: I hate that my boobs are so big! It completely ruins that skirt for me. –Canal Street Hobo: But I don't want to love my breasts! –Ave B Man on cell: So you're coming to New York? That's good. I called your mother, she said you're staying with some girl with big tits tonight. –West 4th Street Guy to another, while at lunch: I don't care if you think I live too fast and I'll be dead at 45. At least I'll die with a tittie in my mouth! –Bryant Park Overheard by: sal b

Lifestyles Of the Wednesday One-Liners

Concerned teacher: Where is Ronald Reagan? Who took Ronald Reagan? –ACORN High School for Social Justice Middle aged lady to companion: Ronald McDonald has his nose up Hello Kitty's dress. –Macy's Balloon Inflation before Thanksgiving Day Parade Hobo: If you ever touch Halle Berry, I'll fucking smack you! –Bryant Park Overheard by: Margot Girl yelling to friend getting out of cab: Get back here before I bite you in the face like Chris Brown! –St. Mark's Place & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Janelle Stoner, as credits roll for movie Push: Dude…fuck Dakota Fanning! –Palace Theatre Guy: But come on, it's the Jonas Brothers in 3-D. It's like pimples and eyebrows, comin' at'cha! –E 17th St Overheard by: the Big R Happy-go-lucky hobo: Liza Minelli? I thought that bitch was dead. (singing at the top of his lungs) I want to be a part of it…New York, New York! –47th & 7th Overheard by: Jesse Cromer