Archive for the ‘Buddha’ Category

Least of All My Roommate's Audible Masturbation

Chick: So I e-mailed my building manager to complain about my jerk roommate, and she wrote back that the solution to all my problems is to chant. And she sent me the chant! Listen to this: “Nam yo ho ren ge cho.” And if I do this every day, I'll be happier, wiser, and in rhythm.
Dude: There are two possibilities here. Either she's enough of a flake to believe this, or she thinks you're enough of a flake to believe it.
Chick: None of this is good! –151st & Broadway Overheard by: Rose Fox

Isn’t It Time You Talked to Your Kids About Wednesday One-Liners?

Creepster: Hey there… do you like drugs? … How about Gandhi? –Chambers &and West Broadway Girl on cell: So I opened the envelope on the train… Yeah it was heroin. –W 46th Ave Bum: Excuse me! Hey, hey! Excuse me! Check it out! I am going to smoke crack all fucking night, and there isn’t anything anyone can do about it, because that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to smoke so much crack! –West 4th at Washington Square Park Overheard by: Cory Guy to hungover girl: Everyday you look more and more like you do heroin. –Relish Bar & Grill Preppy dude: I like doing drugs too much to be a Buddhist. –Arlene’s Grocery Mom to ten-year-old son: … But that’s like saying heroin is the only drug to try! –14th St & 9th Ave

Silly Rabbit, Wednesday One-Liners Are for Kids

Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It's really cool! I got a bed! –Whole Foods, Tribeca Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it's Buddha! It's Buddha! –Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th Overheard by: EVgirl Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I'm 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want. –E 78th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Brandon F 4-year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus. –Uptown 4 Train Overheard by: kdice Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here? –Great Lawn, Central Park Four-year-old girl: I'mma hustla! I'mma, I'mma hustla! –Uptown 1 Train Overheard by: Nina

I Had a Long Conversation with One While I Was Shrooming the Other Day

Girl #1: So, like Buddhist worship cows. They feel like they are sacred and don't eat them, or milk them, or nothing…
Girl #2: Aw, shit! For real?
Girl #1: Yeah, most of them are vegetarians. They don't eat anything that's alive, or has a soul, or something… Cause you can be reincarnated into something you can eat.
Girl #2: So what do vegetarians eat?
Girl #1, staring blankly: What?
Girl #2: What do vegetarians eat?
Girl #1: They're vegetarians! (giggles) Fuck! Vegetables! (rolls eyes, then laughs)
Girl #2, looking oddly: But trees are alive. –Times Square Overheard by: Brownsugarwater

Hard to Imagine How the World Got Overpopulated

Woman #1, seeing movie slide that read, “good karma, save Darfur”: That's horrible to save Darfur so that you improve your karma.
Woman #2: Yeah, and you know another good reason not to save Darfur? Because it's so trendy right now.
Woman #1: Yeah, there are a lot of other people that need saving. –Angelika Theater