Bored Guest: When are we going to get out of here? Don’t tell me in two hours. I’d rather get out of here in three hours than in two hours. If I have to go over that bridge during rush hour, I’ll shoot myself and then jump. I’ll be falling with a gun to my head. –Style Court Plaintiff Room
Archive for the ‘Buildings’ Category
Malice Goes to Style Court
Walkie Talkie: Style for Lori. You’ve got a guest freaking out upstairs. Get up here. –Style Court Plaintiff Room
Malice Goes to Style Court
Guy: Who would you rather have sex with? The girl with the lazy eye or the fat chick?
Girl: Lazy eye.
Guy: Yeah, she’s got a good body.
–Style Court Audience
Overheard by: Tibbie X
No, I Won’t Shake
Super: Toilet’s fixed. Sorry I was so gruff before, but my hands were full of shit. –Ave A
The Definition of Pompous
Yuppie: There is in fact a fundamental difference between Ray’s and Webster’s. One is a series of restaurants that sell pizza; another is a book that you can look up the definitions of words in. –Party, The West Village
Wednesday One-Liners
Businesswoman: Tex-Mex is not Mexican food. It’s American. That’s why it’s called Tex-Mex. –Midtown Office Chick: …and the moral of the story is, don’t take off your pants in a stockroom because you’ll get dumped. –UWS Overheard by: e. glass
Be Paranoid; OverheardInNewYork is Listening…
Woman: So it’s top secret. I think I’m going to quit in January. –500 Madison Avenue
The Dry Wit Gets Wet
American Businessman: What are you doing in Mexico?
British Businessman: Drinking. Continuously.
–Office, Midtown
Making the Worst Kind of Deposit
A trader is on his cell while on the toilet. Trader: Is there a time-frame here? Through the stall is heard the response. Trader #2: If you see sudden movements, we’ll know it’s time. –Trading floor bathroom, Park Avenue Plaza Overheard by: Aaron H.
I Think I’m Switching Branches
White Trash Lady: I don’t want to be hit with overdraft charges.
White Trash Guy: You can’t overdraft. They know you better than that.
White Trash Lady: I can do it. I don’t know how I do but I do it.
–Independence Bank, Bensonhurst