Desperate wannabe bridezilla: Let me ask you a question — if you’re at a wedding and the bride throws the bouquet directly to you instead of to the whole crowd, does it still count?
Friend: I don’t think any of it really counts.
Passerby: Way to kill the mood.
–Elevator, 11th & University
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Archive for the ‘Buildings’ Category
While Visualizing It Turning into Vitamins
Little girl: Mommy, can I have ice cream?
Mom: No! Not until you finish your McDonald’s. Then you can have that ice cream.
–Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Ms.Zipcar
Sacred Mysteries Are Wasted on the Young
Teen #1: Can I have a piece of gum? My mouth tastes weird.
Teen #2: Dude, you can’t eat Jesus and expect it to taste good.
–Cathedral of St. John the Divine
Overheard by: Piously laughing
But Then We’d Be Stuck with Cheney
Man in elevator A: Hey, Bob!
Man in elevator B, across the hall: Oh! Hi there! [Doors close.] He should just resign.
–Actors’ Equity building
Overheard by: Cat
They’re All Gay at Mardi Gras
Suit: Sometimes I want to ask Dan* if he’s gay. I can’t figure out if he is or not.
Woman: Is he flamboyant?
Suit: Yeah, but that could be because he’s a southerner.
–550 Madison Ave
Overheard by: DrDorn
Old Mom or Trophy Mom?
Teacher: Tyler*, your mom is here.
Tyler: Yay! … Wait, which one?
–Citigroup Children’s Center, 399 Park Ave
Overheard by: sarita92282
Tell You What. You Can Do It Inside If You Seal Yourself in a Plastic Bag
Catholic school girl #1: This is totally a third person situation right now, but I really think that some people are discriminatory against smokers. I mean, we really shouldn’t have go outside to smoke. What, are you going to ask a girl with Tourette’s to go spaz outside?
Catholic school girl #2: Did you actually just compare smoking to Tourette Syndrome?
–Convent of the Sacred Heart
Overheard by: Overachiever catholic school girl
I Don’t Think You Quite Grasp This Manliness Business
Electric guy to himself: Where’s my gloves?
Grip guy: Gloves? I don’t use gloves. I use my bare hands like a man! Only pussies use gloves. Are you a pussy? Be a man, ya pussy.
Electric guy: But then my skin will get all dry and crack and stuff.
Grip guy: Duh, well, yeah. That’s why you have to moisturize.
–Movie set of I Am Legend
Overheard by: Another electric guy
Reality’s Harder to Explain Than I Thought
Ghetto clerk #1: Someone called before from New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: So?
Ghetto clerk #1: Well, I didn’t know there was a New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #2: Yeah, there’s Mexico and New Mexico.
Ghetto clerk #1: Oh, I get it. So it’s like Bronk and da Bronx?
Ghetto clerk #2: Not really.
–Manhattan Supreme Court
I Use the Latter As Pace Rabbits
Yuppie lady #1: I just love jogging around the reservoir in Central Park at dawn.
Yuppie lady #2: Yeah, it’s great… The only people out at that time are fitness fanatics and crackheads.
–Elevator, Time Warner Center