Archive for the ‘Bus’ Category

…No One Else Has Problems Like I Do!

Nine-year-old expert on American Girl dolls to would-be collector: Oh, no, not Sarah, you won't get her, she's retired. (about another doll) Good luck finding her, Lindsay retired too!
Would-be collector: Wow, I can't believe all these dolls are retiring!

–M14 Bus

Overheard by: Laurie Gwen Shapiro

Wednesday How Many Liners?

Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany?

–Barracuda

Overheard by: barkeeper

Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial?

–Eugene Lang College

Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here

Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday?

–N Train

Overheard by: D-Law

Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?

–ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: jennyooooo

Student: Is Swedish even a language?

–Columbia University

Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both?

–M86 Crosstown Bus

Raise Your Hand If You Wish You Were Drunk

Loud tween girl: Did you know that I drank wine when I was a baby?
Friend: Huh?
Loud tween girl: Yeah! I drank wine when I was a baby. Did you know that if your mom drinks wine when she's pregnant, then you drink it too? My dad told me. He's a doctor.
Friend: Well, I drank beer once.
Loud tween girl: I tasted champagne on New Year's. But yeah, I drank wine when I was a baby. I probably got drunk!

–M23 Bus

Overheard by: I'd like a glass of wine right now

We Pause for a Wednesday One-Liners Public Service Announcement

Girl on cell: Yeah, the breakup was tough, but I'm feeling good about it now! (pause) Hell, yes, I'm dating! (pause) Yeah, it's an exciting time! So much suspense, so many questions! Will he call me? Whom should I choose? Does he like me? Do I have syphilis?

–M4 Bus

Overheard by: All good questions

Drunk gay guy who just dropped lit cigarette: Shit! If I pick this up, do I have herpes?

–Waverly & University Place

Guy to friend: Nietzsche had syphilis… Why can't I?

–G Train

Woman at newsstand: Do you sell anything for herpes and cold sores?

–W 4th St

Overheard by: wow…i didnt kno they sold that her

Gay man to girlfriend: Is Mr Syphilis coming?

–24th & 2nd

Overheard by: erkala

You'll Understand When You Have Wednesday One-Liners

Frazzled mother to young child: Hurry. Hurry. Look, the monster is going to get you if you don't walk faster!

–Queens Mall

Mother to small child: If you eat your two pieces of chicken, I'll give you a raisin.

–College Point Shopping Center

Overheard by: Yesenia

Mom speaking to son: Sweetie, do I look like a eggbeater?

–Waterside Plaza

Woman on bus to child with large hearing aid: Sit down properly! Are you listening to me?

–M23 Bus

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Mother to whiny toddler: I can't listen to you anymore! I fear for both of us.

–15th St & University Place

Overheard by: Sarah M.