12-year-old boy: I don’t know why people would pay $2 for a bottle of water. You know, EVIAN spelt backwards is N-A-I-V-E. – To his friend, in Prospect Park
Archive for the ‘Business and Commerce’ Category
The Other Apprentice
Guy: If you’re a cokehead you can really climb the corporate ladder. That’s all those guys making six figures.
Girl: It’s in American Psycho.
Guy: Then they burn out and the new guys come in.
–Lakeside Lounge, Ave. B
The Economics of Clubs
Outside a Manhattan club: “Of course we’ll get in. We’re their customers. And of course those girls will get in first — they’re the product!”
You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Eight)
Bus-driver in Vancouver: “The BC government recently did a study about fraud on the bus system, and the company they hired concluded that 3% of the riders take advantage of the system. But driving this bus every day, I see that it is really 30-40%. The newspapers say that Canadians are so good but it’s not true!”
…and all my personal calls are annoying
Who: Puerto Rican teenage girl
Where: East Village
What: “I can set whatever rings I want on this phone for whoever calls me. So all my business calls are Scooby-doo.”
Business Means Never Losing Sight of Your Goals, or Your Blow
Broker #1: That dog is really cute.
Broker #2: Yeah, but we still need more coke.
–St. Mark’s Place & 2nd Ave.
Overheard by: Kate
New Yorkers: Sticking Together
A cashier hands a girl her change. Girl: Excuse me, but can you give me another 20 dollar bill? This one looks counterfeit. The cashier takes the bill, examines it, and puts it back in the register. He gives her another bill. Girl: Thanks. I just didn’t want that one, you know? It didn’t have the stripe down it. It looked too new. It just didn’t look right. So don’t give it to me; just give it to the guy behind me or something. –Bagel Maven, 7th Avenue
Just Say Non!
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding.
–Midtown Office
You Complete Me, Microsoft Word
Businessman: I’m sure glad I found that document. I was about to cry. –Midtown Office
Making the Worst Kind of Deposit
A trader is on his cell while on the toilet. Trader: Is there a time-frame here? Through the stall is heard the response. Trader #2: If you see sudden movements, we’ll know it’s time. –Trading floor bathroom, Park Avenue Plaza Overheard by: Aaron H.