Outside a Manhattan club: “Of course we’ll get in. We’re their customers. And of course those girls will get in first — they’re the product!”
Bus-driver in Vancouver: “The BC government recently did a study about fraud on the bus system, and the company they hired concluded that 3% of the riders take advantage of the system. But driving this bus every day, I see that it is really 30-40%. The newspapers say that Canadians are so good but it’s not true!”
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding. –Midtown Office
Businessman: I’m sure glad I found that document. I was about to cry. –Midtown Office
A trader is on his cell while on the toilet. Trader: Is there a time-frame here? Through the stall is heard the response. Trader #2: If you see sudden movements, we’ll know it’s time. –Trading floor bathroom, Park Avenue Plaza Overheard by: Aaron H.
Who: Puerto Rican teenage girl
Where: East Village
What: “I can set whatever rings I want on this phone for whoever calls me. So all my business calls are Scooby-doo.”
Suit: We’re really quite busy, actually. The lack of work hasn’t really affected the amount of work. –9th Ave. Overheard by: Brad Wilson
Broker #1: That dog is really cute.
Broker #2: Yeah, but we still need more coke. –St. Mark’s Place & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Kate
20-something girl to much older date: So do you smoke weed?
Guy: Not so much anymore.
20-something girl: Me either… Not much… I mean, it's been a long time… But I do know this awesome guy on St. Mark's who gives me cheap pipes and has great shit. He always has something new for me.
Guy, after pause: Actually, it sounds like you smoke a lot.
20-something girl, after embarrassed pause: Well… I buy a lot of gifts.
Man needing help: I need to get my passport renewed before I leave for a trip out of the country next week.
Lady at post office: We can expedite it, and you can have your new passport in two weeks.
Man needing help: But I'll be back from my trip to Mexico in less than two weeks.
Lady at post office: Well, we can expedite it and you'll get your passport back in two weeks.
–Post Office, Grand Central
Overheard by: Adam Lazarus