Archive for the ‘Business and Commerce’ Category

Twenty Drink Minimum

Promoter guy: Stand-up comedy! Are you interested in seeing some stand-up comedy tonight? Hey, I’m asking you a question.
Dude: Oh, no thanks.
Promoter guy: Oh, well, we also have stand-up misery. –Times Square Overheard by: Adam Robbins

Friends Don’t Let Friends Be Drug Mules

Black guy: I just really don’t wanna go to prison in Africa.
White guy: Of course. And, if at any time you feel like that might be a possibility, the operation comes to a close. I value you and your sweet virgin ass and unslit throat over some cheap pot.
Black guy: That’s how I know you’re a real friend. –Parking lot, LaGuardia Overheard by: slightly confused

Wednesday One-liners

Trendy girl: I mean, I like her as a person, I just don’t like what she does with my hair. –Max, Ave. B Guy on cell: Listen man, he’s Trump. We can put his name on anything and they’ll buy it. Put his fucking face on a fucking bottle of water and they’ll fucking buy it! –28th St. and Park Avenue Overheard by: G Varod Woman on cell: There’s only one word for this party. And it is “epic.” –CPW and 110th St.

Wednesday One-Liners Still Giggle When They Say “Stimulus Package”

Mother to preschool-aged child: That's the New York Stock Exchange. That's where we lose all our money. –Outside NYSE Overheard by: Angel Man to four-shoe-pair-buying wife: It's people like you who confuse the economists. –Macy's Toll booth operator to chick in car during rush hour: So, what's your take on the economy these days? –Verrazano Bridge Young dudes, watching suits take Queens train at 9 am: Oooh! They got fired. –7 Train Overheard by: Only in Brooklyn