Archive for the ‘Business and Commerce’ Category

Wednesday One-liners Are in the Wrong Line of Work

Jamaican lady: You fucker! I sell drugs for the Police. They call them dealers because they make deals. I made a deal. Do you pay me? Am I your employee? Fuck you, brush your teeth! –F train Overheard by: z0mb13 Guy on cell: I’m off today. I ran over one of the kids with the bus. –72nd & 1st Overheard by: Todd Horan Trader: I’m almost wishing to come back in my next life as the Jewish wife of a Jewish husband. –Madison Avenue office Man on cell: She’s got a summer job editing Harlequin romance novels. Yeah, which goes so well with…you know…her divinity degree. –118th & Broadway Security guard: One of my feet has five fingers less than the other one, but I don’t claim disability. I work three jobs: model, actor and security guard, I’m not stopping until I make fifty-two million. –F train Overheard by: Nico Westerdale Store chick: I’m just sampling the food so I can explain to customers why it’s so expensive. –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: jexe

New Yorkers: Sticking Together

A cashier hands a girl her change. Girl: Excuse me, but can you give me another 20 dollar bill? This one looks counterfeit. The cashier takes the bill, examines it, and puts it back in the register. He gives her another bill. Girl: Thanks. I just didn’t want that one, you know? It didn’t have the stripe down it. It looked too new. It just didn’t look right. So don’t give it to me; just give it to the guy behind me or something. –Bagel Maven, 7th Avenue