Archive for the ‘Cabbies’ Category

And Don’t You Dare Insult Crack

Taxi driver to colleague: Man, you know I don’t smoke that marijuana. How could you say that? It doesn’t do anything for me. So, I smoke crack. [turns to a young woman with bags] Want a taxi?
Young woman: No, especially if you smoke crack.
Taxi driver: It doesn’t matter what I smoke. If you can’t afford a taxi, just say that. Don’t insult me.

–In front of the Pathmark on Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Wednesday One-Liners Love New York. Maybe.

Guy to buddy: It’s just like New York, except it’s clean and quiet… and people are nice.

–51st & Broadway

Tourist girl: You guys, we’re finally here! New York! Sleepless in… Oh my god, I’m such a moron!

–Incoming Air Canada flight, JFK airport

Overheard by: la petite touriste

Hobo to passerby wearing ‘I love NY’ shirt: Try living here for a few months, see how much you fucking love it.

–Chinatown

Pedicab driver to intrigued tourists: It is the most exciting thing you will do in New York City.

–58th & 5th

Overheard by: Stevo

Woman: Sure, in New York something gets blown up every now and then. But at least we don’t have to worry about falling off into the ocean.

–Filene’s Basement

Overheard by: amused tourist

High-strung mom to nanny: Just leave him here and go check. He’s not going to get kidnapped. No one in New York wants kids, anyway.

–C train

Subway preacher: All of you are going to hell because of New York!

–Grand Central