Girl #1: I am just not a fan of the Jonas Brothers.
Girl #2: I don't know, the one with cancer is pretty cute.
Girl #1: What? I don't think any of them have cancer…
Girl #2: Yeah, the youngest one.
Girl #1: He doesn't have cancer, he has diabetes.
Girl #2: Oh, right! Because if he had cancer, he wouldn't have all that hair.
–Washington Square Park
Archive for the ‘Cancer’ Category
Skimming, Actually
Middle aged man #1: I smoke a joint every once in a while with him.
Middle aged man #2: Well, it's good for you–it stops cancer. You know, the whole medicinal marijuana thing I've been reading about in the paper…
–Broadway & 84th St
For That, and for Wearing Those Horrid Tasseled Loafers.
Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.
Girl friend: That's why you're gonna die tomorrow.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Glory
Dammit, That Was My Tumor
Thug #1: Yo, Quame got cancer, right?
Thug #2: Yeah.
Thug #1: See, that what he get for stealin' from me…
–L Train
Overheard by: Paul
It's Made Him Selfish
Girl #1: So yeah, he's been telling my mom every time I fuck up.
Girl #2: Ugh. How old is he, even?
Girl #1: Like 40, maybe 50-ish.
Girl #2: So why, like, do you just not tell him to fuck off?
Girl #1: I want to, but he's been acting all bad-ass since he got cancer.
–Greenpoint YMCA
Overheard by: Anwar
Have You Seen Wednesday? It's Totally Had Its One-Liners Done.
Woman on cell: I can't believe no one said anything… How could no one notice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this money to get my nose fixed, and no one says anything?
–Norfolk & Houston
50-year-old lady: So are you still down for the Brazilian wax?
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Chuch
Little girl, pointing at someone having their eyebrows threaded: Look! They're sewing that woman's face!
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: kenzi
Orange lady: Is it like you definitely, for sure get cancer from a tanning bed? Cause then I might stop.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Alexis
Who Says New Yorkers Aren't Friendly?
Old man: Enjoy your cancer.
Underage smoker: Thanks, man! You too!
–73rd & Columbus
Overheard by: Fish
It Didn't Tip You Off That My “Sores” Smelled Suspiciously Like Pepperoni?
Guy: Nathan's the only one that's never lied to me.
Ditzy girl: Oh, yeah? What about me? I've never lied to you!
Guy: You did lie to me. That one time you told me you had Aids/cancer. I looked that up. It doesn't exist!
–Bobst Library, NYU
Overheard by: Krys
That's Why She's Dead
Preppy gay guy: I thought she already had cancer?
Preppy fag hag, dawning realization: You're right! She did… definitely.
–Bleecker & Grove
Overheard by: jams
And Yet Which One's Legal?
Guy: But weed gives you cancer.
Girl: No. Cigarettes be givin' you cancer. Weed makes you be high.
–42nd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: kimmykins