Archive for the ‘Cancer’ Category

Have You Seen Wednesday? It's Totally Had Its One-Liners Done.

Woman on cell: I can't believe no one said anything… How could no one notice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this money to get my nose fixed, and no one says anything?

–Norfolk & Houston

50-year-old lady: So are you still down for the Brazilian wax?

–45th & Broadway

Overheard by: Chuch

Little girl, pointing at someone having their eyebrows threaded: Look! They're sewing that woman's face!

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: kenzi

Orange lady: Is it like you definitely, for sure get cancer from a tanning bed? Cause then I might stop.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Alexis

There's No Pill for What Wednesday One-Liners Have

Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema…

–50th & 8th

Overheard by: chris

Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal!

–1st Ave & St. Mark's

Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Lola Black

Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.

–W 4th St

20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria.

–Café

Wednesday One-Liners Are Still Waiting for Those Boy Scouts to Come Out

Hot girl on cell: You got cockblocked by cancer! (pause, then very seriously) Is your pussy still radioactive?

–Upper East Side

Grown man talking to grown woman: You know the sandy vagina?

–32nd & 8th

Street man to slutty-looking hipsters: Freeze! Drop your drawers! We've got your pussy surrounded!

–2nd Ave

Overheard by: Maureen

30-something woman on cell: I like to use a blowdryer on the… uh… vaginas.

–D Train

Girl, screaming into cell: No, I will not give you my vagina!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Can I borrow it?

Wednesday One-Glove-Liners

20-something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson's "Rock with You" plays on the radio: Did you hear he's sick? Apparently, he's in the hospital. I know, it's crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that'll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!

–Pet Food Store

Overheard by: Nathalie

Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?

–8th & Broadway

Man, lighting cigarette: So what'd he die from? A sunburn?

–Chambers St. & West Broadway

Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.

–MacDougal & 8th St

Nine-year-old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.

–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown

Overheard by: Lauren T.

Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can't be, they're white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.

–Delancey & Essex