Girl to another: And she went to get into her car. I was like "you'd better get out of here or I'm gonna fuck you up." And she was all slamming the door and stopping over to me. And I was all in her face and bitch-slapped her. Well, that last part might have been a dream. But then she got into her car and left.
–NY Central Library
Overheard by: amused
Woman on cell: Hi, Annie! How are you? (pause) I'm going to get my ass kicked by a very big black man.
–Park Slope
Suit on cell: If you don't stop hanging up on me, I will kick you in the throat.
–Times Square
Guy on cell, very loudly: Yeah, but, so nobody knows about it except me and the other guys in the fight club.
–21st St & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex
20-something girl: And then she chloroformed me. (pause) I said that too loud.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Russ
Archive for the ‘Cars and Driving’ Category
It's Always Sunny in Wednesday One-Liner
Swaying hobo with outstretched arms, as it starts to drizzle: I make it rain, I make it rain, I make it rain on you, hoes!
–14th St & University Place
Conductor over PA, on sunny 50-degree day: Due to inclement weather, the 2 and 3 trains will be running on the local track.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Bag lady: I'm not selling ass, just panhandling. It's too cold.
–9th Ave & 25th St
Really tall dude to no one in particular, very energetically: It's a beautiful day, oh my god! I'm gonna cancel all my appointments and go on a walk!
–2nd & Bedford
Angry stranded guy: And you were all like "it doesn't snow in the city, there are too many cars!"
–Bleecker St
Darwin: “See?”
Ghetto-fabulous girl standing at crosswalk while cars whiz by: Why ain't we crossin'?
(friend points to cars)
Girl: Oh.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
…I Was Flashing Him the Whole Time!
Girl #1: Oh my god! Did you see that? He flipped me off!
Girl #2: Well, duh! You ran in front of his car.
Girl #1: So?
–Union Square
Overheard by: sam
Wednesday All-Your-2,000-Parts Liners
Very upset girl to no one in particular: But nobody would ever fuck my eyelashes!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Boy to another: He said he had to go and get a colon autopsy!
–84th & 3rd
Overheard by: Laura
Woman to husband: And I swear, she only has half an eye!
–Times Square
Older dude in sweater vest: It was considered the Rolls Royce of organs.
–111th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Middle aged man walking his dog at night: She had a shamrock on her face and a shamrock on her butt.
–West End & 77th St
Girl to another: Are you going to be upset if he has short arms?
–University Place
Gellin' Like Magellan Doesn't Count, Erica.
Woman #1: Ooooooooh girl, look at that Escalade!
Woman #2: You ever been in a Escalade?
Woman #1: No. But I've been in a Navigator.
–South Bronx
Overheard by: whitelawyerinthesouthbronx
…But I'm Afraid I'm Gonna Have to Mug You Now.
Boy on street with basketball to car honking horn non-stop: Shut up!
Girl walking by: Well done! I love New York.
–Flushing, Queens
Americans Are Always Arguing About Their Rights
Passerby to driver making illegal turn: No red on right in Manhattan!
Driver: Well, I'm from Philly, so whatever!
–44th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
…Who Knew There'd Be Cars There?
Girl: Dave, you got hit by a car, so I cannot trust you crossing the street.
Dave: I ran into the street.
–Graham & Jackson, Williamsburg
You Can't Say the Catholic Church Isn't Trying
Meathead Yankees fan #1: Hey, did you know I got a tattoo? (shows friend tattoo)
Meathead Yankees fan #2: No, man! When did you get it?
Meathead Yankees fan #1: A while ago. I was actually on my way to Pep Boys, and I stopped in a shop, and came out with a tattoo.
–A Train
Overheard by: Traczie