Chick: Yeah, deers aren’t that bad. You’re in trouble if you hit a cow, though. And even worse would be a moose, because if you don’t kill it it’s gonna kill you! –Williamsburg Overheard by: Danger!!!!
Old school Brooklyn guy: They closed off 150 blocks in DC for this inauguration and where do you think all the people that live on those blocks are gonna park, if not here in the five boroughs? –Greenpoint Overheard by: Didi Hylobates
Woman: I’ve never seen so many cars out there.
Cashier: The Jewish people are praying.
Cashier: Yeah, I think tomorrow is the start of Ramadan. –Wendy’s, Bensonhurst
Drunk guy: You're not looking too good, are you okay to drive?
Drunk guy: Those officers can suck my dick.
Drunk girl: Those officers will not suck your dick, and they never will.
–W 238th & Waldo Ave
Girl #1: Those are like really nice cars.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah. They're like Toyotas, right?
Girl #1: No.
–Mercedes-Benz Showroom, Park Ave
Overheard by: Lydia
Man #1: Nice beard. You look like Santa!
Man #2, gesturing to his jacket: Santa? Does Santa drive a Harley too?
–72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Natasha
Guy to girl: Yeah, the reason I never wanted to drive drunk in high school is cause I didn't want to scratch my car.
Girl: Well, that's shouldn't be the only reason!
Guy: Oh, for sure–but it was a pretty sweet ride.
–62nd St & Lexington
Guy #1: Yeah, and then he broke my car.
Guy #2: I guess there had to be a break in the monotony.
Guy #1: Never speak again, Vince.
Overheard by: …
Foreign taxi driver: If you know anything, you find job in New York. If you know nothing, you drive cab.
–Upper West Side
Cab driver to woman who just cut him off: Hey lady, learn how to drive! Go back to Park Slope!
–28th & Park Ave
Overheard by: natasha
Crazy drunken taxi driver: Do chicken wings cause pregnancy?
–West Side Highway
Overheard by: amalthya
Smelly cabbie to patrons: Oh, the smell! That is just fish water. Someone threw fish water all over my cab. That is the stink.
–48th St & Lexington
Overheard by: anon
Woman on cell: Yeah, today's his wedding. I thought about driving seven hours through the snowstorm to go, but then I realized that it's his third wedding, he has two kids, and he's marrying some woman who's pregnant and married to someone else, so I decided to fuck that shit and stay in the city.
–6th Ave & Bleecker St
Overheard by: office peon
30-something guy on cell: Your dad told you, your brother told you, I told you… Not to get married.
–Upper West Side
Woman: We may or may not still be married. I mean, I signed the papers but I don't know if they were ever filed.
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Woman screaming at embarrassed guy: We have to figure this out! You can't be married to two women at once!
–Chambers & Broadway
Overheard by: Jack