Archive for the ‘Cashiers’ Category

Circulation Department. How Can I Direct Your Underwear?

Salesgirl: And, with this purchase, you get a free set of panties. What size would you like?
Girl #1: Oh, really? Cool. Medium, please.
Girl #2: How are you a size 4 in pants and an extra-small in shirts but a medium in underwear?
Girl #1: Well, underwear always run true to size. You can’t kid yourself into thinking you look skinny when your thongs are cutting off circulation to your labia. –Express, 34th & 7th Overheard by: I would have to agree

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Perhaps We Could Discuss Free Coffee…Wesley

Coffee vendor: That iced coffee will be eight dollars, and the straw will cost you fifty cents extra, ha ha.
Cashier: Man, Joe, that coffee's expensive!
Coffee vendor: Why'd you gotta say my name, man? What if my baby mama came up in here looking for child support and youse be sayin' my name?! –Westside Market

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Saccharine Might Be Better for Her

Woman in leggings: What the fuck is this shit? You gonna hand me three motherfucking sugar packets? Do you have any idea how big this coffee is?
Cashier: We don’t put sugar in your coffee. Sugar packets are on the counter.
Woman in leggings: Listen, my boyfriend’s a cop. And he owns, like, three Dunkin’ Donuts franchises. What do you mean you won’t put sugar in my fuckin’ coffee? I want to speak to the manager.
Manager: Excuse me, but I heard you. There are sugar packets on the counter. Take as many as you like.
Woman in leggings: You guys are total assholes. –Dunkin’ Donuts, 96th & Broadway Overheard by: ProcrastYNate

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

NewsFlash: New Jersey Builds Immigration Wall

Yuppie on cell cutting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cookies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yuppie, into cell: I hate the fucking East Side. Everyone thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t figure out this fucking line — all I want to do is buy some fucking cookies… New Jersey is my destiny. –Bakery, 70th & Lex

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

You’re Right, But for the Wrong Reasons.

Woman: You won’t take a fifty? Why won’t you take a fifty? This is outrageous! You don’t have a checker pen? You just check it with a checker pen! You need to get a checker pen. Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening!
Counter chick: It’s company policy, we can’t take fifties. Nothing bigger than a twenty. But this drink is on the house.
Woman: I don’t want it on the house! I want to pay!
Counter chick: Don’t worry about it. It’s on the house. You don’t have to pay.
Woman: Well, this is the craziest thing I ever heard! You won’t let me pay! This is my husband’s fault! He owns a nightclub and he won’t give me a credit card. All he gives me is cash from the till! All I have is fifties and hundreds! I have a whole purse full of them! And you won’t let me pay! I feel like I’m homeless or something! Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. –Jamba Juice, 5th & 23rd Overheard by: oliver tomorrow

Republished by Blog Post Promoter