Archive for the ‘Cashiers’ Category

French Vanilla Means a Regular and a Handjob

LI girl: Wait, where’s the milk for the coffee?
Cashier: The sugar’s right here.
LI girl: No, I want milk. Don’t you have any milk in this whole place? For coffee?
Cashier: No, because you said you want regular.
LI girl: Yeah, regular — like ‘not decaf.’
Cashier: No. Regular is ‘no milk.’
LI girl: No. Black is like this — ‘no milk.’
Cashier: No. Black is ‘not hazelnut.’
Onlooker: Learn how to order or get out of the way.

–Ess-a Bagel, 21st & 1st

Overheard by: Jackie G

But What About Miracle Whip?

Man: So you’ve had problems with customers before, huh?
Cashier: Just one guy. It was 4th of July weekend and he was going on about sour cream. He was the only one in the store. He started hitting me because he said I charged the wrong price. I kept telling him that he had to leave.
Man: Wow!
Cashier: Yeah, he was obviously going senile. I mean, I’d never hit anyone over sour cream! –Waldbaum’s, Bensonhurst

Bait and Switch

Customer: I’d like a bagel with Honey Walnut cream cheese.
Cashier: No Honey Walnut. Strawberry.
Customer: Is there anything besides Strawberry that’s sweet?
Cashier: We have Vegetable. But that’s not sweet. –Dunkin’ Donuts, Bensonhurst

New Yorkers: Sticking Together

A cashier hands a girl her change. Girl: Excuse me, but can you give me another 20 dollar bill? This one looks counterfeit. The cashier takes the bill, examines it, and puts it back in the register. He gives her another bill. Girl: Thanks. I just didn’t want that one, you know? It didn’t have the stripe down it. It looked too new. It just didn’t look right. So don’t give it to me; just give it to the guy behind me or something. –Bagel Maven, 7th Avenue

Analysts are analysts

Ice cream shop clerk: “I told my analyst that I met this guy who looks so much like him, it is unbelievable. My analyst then said, ‘well, how does that make you feel?’”

“I Said Coffee!”

Cashier #1: I felt so bad. She was trying to be so nice to her, but this woman was just horrible.
Cashier #2: What happened?
Cashier #1: She asked her if she wanted a vente mocha frappacino–she was even smiling and stuff when she asked–and then the woman got all mad and said, “Look it, I don’t speak Italian.” –Starbucks, Astor Place