Archive for the ‘Cashiers’ Category

Circulation Department. How Can I Direct Your Underwear?

Salesgirl: And, with this purchase, you get a free set of panties. What size would you like?
Girl #1: Oh, really? Cool. Medium, please.
Girl #2: How are you a size 4 in pants and an extra-small in shirts but a medium in underwear?
Girl #1: Well, underwear always run true to size. You can’t kid yourself into thinking you look skinny when your thongs are cutting off circulation to your labia. –Express, 34th & 7th Overheard by: I would have to agree

Saccharine Might Be Better for Her

Woman in leggings: What the fuck is this shit? You gonna hand me three motherfucking sugar packets? Do you have any idea how big this coffee is?
Cashier: We don’t put sugar in your coffee. Sugar packets are on the counter.
Woman in leggings: Listen, my boyfriend’s a cop. And he owns, like, three Dunkin’ Donuts franchises. What do you mean you won’t put sugar in my fuckin’ coffee? I want to speak to the manager.
Manager: Excuse me, but I heard you. There are sugar packets on the counter. Take as many as you like.
Woman in leggings: You guys are total assholes. –Dunkin’ Donuts, 96th & Broadway Overheard by: ProcrastYNate

NewsFlash: New Jersey Builds Immigration Wall

Yuppie on cell cutting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cookies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yuppie, into cell: I hate the fucking East Side. Everyone thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t figure out this fucking line — all I want to do is buy some fucking cookies… New Jersey is my destiny. –Bakery, 70th & Lex

You’re Right, But for the Wrong Reasons.

Woman: You won’t take a fifty? Why won’t you take a fifty? This is outrageous! You don’t have a checker pen? You just check it with a checker pen! You need to get a checker pen. Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening!
Counter chick: It’s company policy, we can’t take fifties. Nothing bigger than a twenty. But this drink is on the house.
Woman: I don’t want it on the house! I want to pay!
Counter chick: Don’t worry about it. It’s on the house. You don’t have to pay.
Woman: Well, this is the craziest thing I ever heard! You won’t let me pay! This is my husband’s fault! He owns a nightclub and he won’t give me a credit card. All he gives me is cash from the till! All I have is fifties and hundreds! I have a whole purse full of them! And you won’t let me pay! I feel like I’m homeless or something! Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. –Jamba Juice, 5th & 23rd Overheard by: oliver tomorrow