Customer: Can I pay by debit?
Checkout Hippie: Yes. [laughter]
Customer: Why are you laughing?
Checkout Hippie: Because I thought what you said was funny.
Customer: OK…
–Organic Market, East Village
Archive for the ‘Cashiers’ Category
Analysts are analysts
Ice cream shop clerk: “I told my analyst that I met this guy who looks so much like him, it is unbelievable. My analyst then said, ‘well, how does that make you feel?’”
New Yorkers: Sticking Together
A cashier hands a girl her change. Girl: Excuse me, but can you give me another 20 dollar bill? This one looks counterfeit. The cashier takes the bill, examines it, and puts it back in the register. He gives her another bill. Girl: Thanks. I just didn’t want that one, you know? It didn’t have the stripe down it. It looked too new. It just didn’t look right. So don’t give it to me; just give it to the guy behind me or something. –Bagel Maven, 7th Avenue
Where Can I Possibly Find a Coffee?
Woman: Can I have a coffee?
Ice Cream Lady: You want coffee ice cream?
Woman: No, coffee.
Ice Cream Lady: Oh, we don’t sell coffee.
–Coldstone Ice Cream, Astor Place
Overheard by: Alayna
“I Said Coffee!”
Cashier #1: I felt so bad. She was trying to be so nice to her, but this woman was just horrible.
Cashier #2: What happened?
Cashier #1: She asked her if she wanted a vente mocha frappacino–she was even smiling and stuff when she asked–and then the woman got all mad and said, “Look it, I don’t speak Italian.”
–Starbucks, Astor Place
…and never the twain shall meet
Cashier #1: I’m sorry, what kind of drink do you want?
Cashier #2: He said fruit punch. There’s a time to work and a time to think!
–Popeye’s, 34th St.
Kick Up Your Calendar; It’s Wednesday
Superbubbly Woman: I’ll see you tomorrow! Which is Friday! And we’ll kick it up another notch!
Cashier: OK!
–Bodega, 9th Ave & 36th Street
Highest Maintenance
Anal Man: I want a grilled chicken wrap. But I don’t want cheese and I want a little bit of dressing on the bread as you’re making it. Some places don’t put dressing.
Cashier: We don’t put dressing here.
Anal Man: Just a bit of dressing. Not too much.
Cashier: Do you want the combo?
Anal Man: No!
–Ranch 1, Union Square
But What About Miracle Whip?
Man: So you’ve had problems with customers before, huh?
Cashier: Just one guy. It was 4th of July weekend and he was going on about sour cream. He was the only one in the store. He started hitting me because he said I charged the wrong price. I kept telling him that he had to leave.
Man: Wow!
Cashier: Yeah, he was obviously going senile. I mean, I’d never hit anyone over sour cream!
–Waldbaum’s, Bensonhurst
Bait and Switch
Customer: I’d like a bagel with Honey Walnut cream cheese.
Cashier: No Honey Walnut. Strawberry.
Customer: Is there anything besides Strawberry that’s sweet?
Cashier: We have Vegetable. But that’s not sweet.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Bensonhurst