Archive for the ‘Cashiers’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Starting to Show

Aloof teen: So, other than getting robbed and coming back pregnant, how was it?

–27th & 6th

Overheard by: Seamus Diddy

Female cashier, looking over cover of Star magazine: Girl, Angelina is having twins?! I tell you what, that girl needs to get her some birth control pills -and you know why? Because she hot and if I was Brad Pitt I would keep knockin’ her up too.

–86th & 1st

Girl on cell: Ugh! I can’t believe she’s pregnant again! That makes futon baby number two!

–Forever 21, Union Square

Girl checking SMS, to friends: Oh shit…[Reads.] "Happy non mother’s day, pass this on to all your girlfriends and women you know who survived another year of not getting pregnant."

–Toys R Us Times Square

Overheard by: Non Father

Guy, chasing after pregnant woman in the fruit section: It’s not a boy? I swore you told me it was a boy! Honey! Come back!

–Whole Foods, Bowery

Overheard by: office peon

Don’t We All, Buddy

New Indian cashier: I don’t have any change. How do I get more change?
Old Indian cashier: Call on the intercom for the manager to come to the front.
New Indian cashier, over intercom: Manager to the front, please. I need change, please. I badly need change.

–Duane Reade, 50th & Broadway

I’m Not Sure a Finger Is a Comprehensive Response

Soccer mom: I dropped a twenty dollar bill last time I was in here, like, two weeks ago. Did anybody find it and turn it in?
Cashier: Ya know, we’ve gotten so many twenties turned in this month, you’re going to have to identify yours. Whats the serial number?

–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Veronica at www.lonelyroadsandpsychopaths.com

What About People Who Misuse “Subtlety”?

Woman: Wow, your face is really red! What happened, sunburn?
Cashier girl: No…allergic reaction.
Woman: Ooh…what are you allergic to?
Cashier girl: Rude, obnoxious and tactless customers.
Woman: Oh, so you get a lot of those, hmm?
Cashier girl: Ugh…Oh yeah, I forgot, and stupid ones that don’t get subtlety, either. –Stop & Shop, Long Island City Overheard by: mshorty

Tomorrow: Cut or Uncut?

Teen Latina cashier: Jason asked me out.
Tween Latina bagger: Which Jason?
Teen Latina cashier: Jason. Honda.
Tween Latina bagger: H’mmm?
Teen Latina cashier: Blue Honda hatch…Blue Honda hatch, dual pipe. Tinted rear. Spinners.
Tween Latina bagger: Oh, yeah. –Foodtown, Bay Ridge Overheard by: Capn Midnite