Archive for the ‘Catholics’ Category

Private Schools: The Difference is Clear?

Catholic School boy #1: Man, I can call a bitch a bitch if I wanna call her a bitch.
Catholic School girl: Nah, you can’t call a girl a bitch. It’s offensive, stupidass.
Catholic School boy #2: Yeah man, I don’t call ’em bitch no more. Now, I call ’em broads.
Catholic School boy #1: Nah, I ain’t callin’ you a bitch cause you bitchin’. I’m calling you a bitch cause that’s just what you call ’em. It’s a colloquialism. –6 train Overheard by: Jacob Feldman

Christ, He’s Still Not Quite Getting It

Man #1: I went to confession, to a priest. I unloaded some pretty bad things I done. He was a Jesuit, this priest was. He knew I was feeling bad, so he told me not to be hard on myself, that God loves me no matter what. Then he said God loves all of us, that he loved Hitler just as much as the Blessed Mother.
Man #2: That’s some pretty heavy shit. I’ll tell you this, if I were that priest I wouldn’t say that at a synagogue.
Man #1: Jeez, I didn’t think of that. –Carnegie Deli, 7th Avenue

Wednesday One-Liners Feel Like a Woman or Whatever

Asian girl: A tranny spat and peed on me last night… so I guess I'm okay. –Screaming MiMi's Boutique Overheard by: Nancy Gay guy, after woman bumps into him: Did you just step on my vagina? –A Train College boy: So then I woke up and realized I was next to a tranny… –Manhattan College "Girl" sitting at the door: My panties are too small to hold my dick in. –Williamsburg Catholic school girl, carrying large backpack, to friend: I'm looking forward to leaving this bathroom a guy. A very effeminate guy, but still a guy. –Bathroom, Barnes & Noble Overheard by: Innocent Bathroom-goer

Bless Me, Father, for I Have Wednesday One-Linered

Man in cowboy hat, looking at large crowd surrounding a Jew for Jesus: Man, I can't compete with religion, all I got are card tricks! This sucks! –Union Square Overheard by: SilentRaver Guy on cell: Why, is it because it's the blacks? (pause) Oh, I get it. It's the Baptists. –Cosi, 13th & Broadway Overheard by: Heather Crazy creepster, going up to Catholic girls and screaming: Catholic schoolgirls rule! –R Train Overheard by: Amanduh Tall, 40-something guy on cell: I don't know… I don't think I can go drunk to church. –53rd St & 5th Ave Overheard by: Midtown Schmidtown Woman: My husband is pissed because I skipped church for this shit! –Medieval Festival, Ft. Tryon Park