Archive for the ‘Celebrations/Parties’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners: “Toga! Toga! Toga!”

60-something white woman: They put on a good show. Those Jesuits really know how to party! –Penn Station Overheard by: Jeff Gay man to others, about parties: Yeah, I thought about going to the black party, but I'm not that gay! –7th Ave & 6th St Overheard by: NottRob Young woman: I'm twenty-seven. I've never been to a party, a sexy party, where I don't remember who I've slept with. –21st St & Lexington Overheard by: Jonas Chick on cell: I can't. It's my cousin's chihuahua's birthday party. –28th St & Lexington Overheard by: sounds like a rager

How Darwin Got Everyone to Accept His Theory

Father to teenage daughter: Oh, well…the party was in Queens.
Daughter: Fuck Queens!
Father, quickly checking calendar on cell phone: Not on Gay Pride Day, honey.
Daughter: Haha! Hang on, I'm going to write that down. I'll use it in a story for my creative writing class!
Father: Oh, don't write it down…it's not even funny. And always remember…if you want your story to be funny, just put in a monkey. It always works for me!
Daughter: Didn't you novel get bad reviews, though? They said it wasn't funny at all.
Father: Well, obviously, I should have written in several more monkeys. –Tompkins Square Park

Party On, Wednesday One-Liners! Party On, Garth!

Eight-year-old boy to friend: If we go to college do you wanna be roommates? What college do you wanna go to? I wanna go to Yale. Actually, no, I hate Yale. They have naked parties. –P.S. 3, Hudson St, between Bleecker & Grove Overheard by: Joeb Black dude: Get this — the theme of the party is ‘Bring a white chick.’ –Union Square Girl on cell: So, how was that party last night? Did you find anything to stick your dick in? –14th & 5th Little kid: Toga! Toga! Toga! –Staten Island Overheard by: Matt Roca Fat sweatsuit on cell: Order me some wings — I’m ready to party! I said order me some wings — I’m ready to party! –Steinway & Broadway, Astoria Overheard by: Queemys Mommy

Wednesday One-Liners Sit Shiva

50-something suit: In many ways I enjoyed his funeral reception more than his wedding reception. –PATH Overheard by: Joe H. Girl on cell: He died. They found his body. I don't know, somewhere in the Bronx. He was strangled or some shit. Yeah, he died from it. Oh shit, that's why I forgot to send you the invitation for the whatchacallit, the funeral. –Rivington & Attorney Overheard by: I wasn't invited either Gay guy to friend: So I told John I would go to his funeral just to spit in his face! –West Bank Cafe 60-something woman to another: So I'm glad I didn't go to his fucking bitch sister's funeral. But now he's mad. –Central Park 20-something guy on cell: Just 'cause I did meth with his daughter doesn't mean I'm going to go to his funeral! –7th Ave Subway Entrance