Archive for the ‘Celebrities’ Category

Our First Quasi-Celebrity Submission

A woman wearing a Mick Jagger shirt is approached by a model, who tells her: I like your shirt. Then the model calls her son (about four) over and says: Look at her shirt. That’s his dad, you know. [Turns out that she wasn't joking; the model's name is Luciana Morad.] –Time Warner Center Mall

Wednesday One-Liners Have at Least One Marketable Skill

Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen.

–Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

Overheard by: Christine


Skank
: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!


–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Skye


Ditz
: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid.


–54th St between 9th & 10th


Media scholar
: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.


–20th & 8th


Wednesday One-Liners (the King James Version)

Cute chick on cell: If the Amish can do it, so can you. [Pause, then louder.] If the Amish can do it, so can you!

–113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Lady on cell: You tell my momma to get her ass to church and stop sinning!

–Grand Concourse, 205th St.

Overheard by: LSB

Black guy to another: Go to the Catholic church, cracka. They got good drugs.

–11th & A

Middle Eastern man: I believe in Islam and Allah, but I drink, I smoke, and I fuck. When I stop doing those things, then I’ll pray.

–C Train

Overheard by: Mark

Thug: I totally invented the Chuck Norris religion.

–Queens Mall

Overheard by: LSB