Archive for the ‘Celebrities’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Still Can’t Get Over Joey Picking Pacey (That Dumb Bitch)

Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying. –N train, Astoria Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. –Eckerd, Astoria Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case. –79th St entrance, FDR Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today. –Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center Overheard by: Stephen and Allison Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich! –New York Public Library Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism. –114th & Broadway

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Big-Boned

Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese! –1 train Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass! –Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym! –Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn Overheard by: elwood Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island. –Queens Center Mall Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat. –Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God! –Q46 bus Overheard by: Melissa