Archive for the ‘Cell Phone’ Category

Please Remain on the Line. Your Wednesday One-Liner Is Important to Us.

Usher: I will tell you once again: do not use your cell phone! I know how to wrestle!

–Theatre

Man: What kind of faggot has a 551 number?

–Cooper Union, Astor Place

Overheard by: a friend of mine does

Drunk Long Island girl: I don't know! I guess my phone was on lock or unlock or whatever, but my boobs must have called you!

–W 10th St

Overheard by: max

Blonde NYU ditz, looking at BlackBerry: Wait… what area code is 718? That's like really far away, right?

–Sullivan & Bleecker

Overheard by: i actually laughed at her

Conductor: This is the train to Ronkonkoma, also known as "ko, hip hip hey and away we go." When using cell phones, please, keep it quiet, 'cause no one really wants to know what you're talkin' about.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Goober

Wday 1 Lnrz — U Like?

Girl on cell: Sorry I texted you when you were giving birth.

–27th St & Park Ave

20-something girl: I kept saying, "I emailed a text to him!"

–Pub, 59th & 3rd

Overheard by: Bluetoothed them a postcard

20-something girl correcting her friend's text message: No, you don't need an apostrophe there. It's "hos," plural, not "of or pertaining to a ho."

–M15 Bus

Overheard by: Lauren

Guy with suitcase on cell: I sent him a text asking if I could stay at his place, and he said sure. I find out today he was being sarcastic.

–116th & Broadway

Student: Okay, it's 3:20. I think it's an appropriate time to text Ben and tell him I had a sex dream about him.

–Sarah Lawrence College

Overheard by: Anna

Wednesday One-Liners Send Mixed Signals

Man: But they’ll talk to us! That’s the problem with calling people — they talk to you!

–Union Square Park

Chick: For one thing, this guy sounds totally sick and perverted; and, for another, what’s his number?

–Party, 140th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mr. P.

Girl on cell: He was like, ‘Thanks for doing that in a text,’ and I was like, ‘Thanks for saying that in an IM.’

–Park Ave & Union Square North

Collegiate on cell: Dude, why the hell are you calling me? I told you, just use MySpace.

–Park Ave South & 19th St

Queer looking at ringing cell: Shit! [Answers phone in pleasant voice] Hi, Andrew!

–11th St & University

Overheard by: Colleen

Yeah, It’s Weird That Old People Know How to Use a Phone

Brooklyn girl #1: So I was in this restaurant and some guy asks the owner who I am and gets my phone number and calls me. That’s weird.
Brooklyn girl #2: That’s not weird, that’s cute.
Brooklyn girl #1: Yeah, but he was like 30.
Brooklyn girl #2: Ew, that’s weird. –D train Overheard by: Jen Old man: Why do I have to download ringtones when it never rings anyway? –Worldwide Plaza, 49th & 8th Overheard by: mark manne