12-year-old girl to friend: So, he asked me for a piggyback ride and grabbed onto my boobs! Isn’t that what you call sexism? When you’re a perv? Sexist? –6th & Houston Overheard by: Ha, ha, Mal. Man on cell: You’re an eight, but you’d be a ten if your boobs were bigger… –19th & 7th Girl: Where’s my phone? … Oh, there’s my boob. –Prospect Heights, Brooklyn Overheard by: Mariah Woman on cell: I have to throw my breasts around and tell every guy I want to have sex with them at work. –68th & 2nd Chick on cell: I haven’t yet met him, you know, but he has a Christmas card featuring my boobies on his fridge. –LIRR Overheard by: Ladle
Gangsta wannabe #1: Yo, man, I gotta get me a new Sidekick.
Gangsta wannabe #2: Yo, you mean buy one or rob one?
Gangsta wannabe #1: Yo, rob one, fool!
Gangsta wannabe #2: So rob one then!
Gangsta wannabe #1: I will soon! Very nervous white guy in suit right in front of them quickly slips his Sidekick into his pocket. –86th & 2nd Overheard by: Peter
Red jacket: You know he texted me from Mexico like five times since he's been there?
Mauve jacket: Oh my! It costs so much to text from there! It's like 75 cents per text!
Red jacket: I don't know why. I made it quite obvious I wasn't interested. He should spend that money on match.com!
Mauve jacket: You are so wrong. –Greene & W 4th
Girl, while texting: Cindy, this is so weird.
Cindy: What is?
Girl: My predictive text. My phone recognizes “intravaginal”, “labradoodle,” “hornswoggle” and “clusterfuck,” but won't recognize “pomegranate” or “wildebeest!”
Cindy: Why would you need to use those words?
Girl: I like those pomegranate jelly beans my mom got from T.J. Maxx. –M1 Bus
Girl on cell: So, you know, I was just lying there, like with my face to the wall and stuff and he just whips out his dick and starts hitting me in the back of the head with it. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Zac Stone
Young society reject to same: You’re the psycho-freak out! You touch people’s ears at random! –AMC Theatre at Lincoln Center Overheard by: G-Lime A woman to friend: My friend just became a manicurist. She had her first client today and she only has one hand. –Forham University Woman almost forgetting her sunglasses: I would lose my ass if it wasn’t attached to my neck! –A Train Overheard by: Don Student: I think the guy selling cell phones on the street made off with my uterus. –Touro College of Osteopathis, Harlem Coworker to another: You have thighs now. When you came here, you had no thighs. –1250 Broadway Suit #1 to suit #2: He has the feet of a nine-year-old girl! –44th & Lexington
Teen boy #1: Change your ringtone! Change it! [Slams table.]
Teen boy #2: Don’t you like that song? I love it.
Teen boy #1, to others: His phone rings all day — I’m sick of it. I have to have a new song. He gets that many calls, he should have one song for each girl so I’m entertained! –Little Italy
Jock #1: Mine is five inches!
Jock #2: Hah! I got you beat! Mine is about four inches.
Jock #3: Yeah? Well, I beat both you dudes. Mine is only two inches! –W 112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam Overheard by: Christopher Stone
Frazzled woman: You ain’t a man. You ain’t nothing but a bitch-ass nigga. Just a fucking bitch ass!
Young gangsta #1: Psh, crazy bitch. She don’t even have a cell phone.
Young gangsta #2, pulling out cell phone and waving it around: Yeah, she ain’t even got one of these! –34th & 8th
Girl #1: He, he, he, just brrroke uuup with meee!
Girl #2: How, isn't he in Alaska?
Girl #1: No! Well, what do you mean? I was talking to my dad, the phone just broke up. I wasn't talking about him, I was talking about my dad!
(girls #1 and 2 laugh) –Central Park Overheard by: Anna