Archive for the ‘Central Park’ Category

… When It Comes to Peristalsis

Man sunbather: He’s like 6’6″, very attractive…
Woman sunbather: So does he, like, spontaneously vomit…?
Man sunbather: Let’s just say he’s not the smoothest…

–Turtle Pond, Central Park

Overheard by: Not jumping to date this attractive man.

Wednesday One-Liners Have a History of Violence

Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago. –34th & 7th Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face. –33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria Overheard by: Wade Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her! –Penn Station Overheard by: Cha Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Braincurve Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock. –Central Park

Wednesday One-Liners Are What They Are By Virtue of Their Relationships

Girl: …because I feel like we’re going out. It’s just that he won’t call me. –Dunkin’ Donuts, E 14th St Overheard by: MK Homegirl to boyfriend: No, no, that’s not what I said, that’s what you heard.

–1st & Ave B

Overheard by: Mollena Girl: In the last few years, every time I go away to Paris with someone, I end up breaking up with them.

–San Loco, 7th St & 2nd Ave B&T girl #1 to B&T girl #2: If you lived in NYC, you’d totally find a boyfriend. You totally, totally would.

–LIRR to Penn Station

Overheard by: Pia Peanutbuttas Sassy chick: I was having a glass of wine with him, and he didn’t have anything to say to me. So I licked his ear. –Harlem Overheard by: McN Shrewd observer: That’s not dating. It’s called being on parole. –West Building, Hunter College Woman on cell: Well, I happen to like our Goddamn relationship, thank you very much! –Central Park Overheard by: Mike