Archive for the ‘Central Park’ Category

Jan Finally Takes “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!” a Little Too Far

Hot girl #1: Oh, wow, guys, he just texted me and asked me if I want to go out for drinks with him!
Hot girl #2: He did?
Hot girl #3: Didn't he make it with your sister?
Hot girl #2: Yeah, why do you want to go out with him for?
Hot girl #3: Double dipping, that's why.
Hot girl #1: Yeah, why not? Let's keep it in the family.

–Central Park

Overheard by: who say's that!!!

Man's Best Wednesday One-Liner

Slightly thugged-out guy, rapping to little white poodle: Li'l coco! You's a muthafuckin' beast, yo! Li'l coco! Yeah!

–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn

Overheard by: John Bender

Guy to dog: Lady, it's just me! There's only me!

–77th St, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: Jon A.

Big burly guy to tiny yorkie, as it sniffs tree and walks away: Well, thanks for that false alarm.

–43rd St & 10th Ave

Upper West Side lady to little pampered dog with sweater: It's okay, baby, you can talk.

–80th Ave & Columbus

Hipster dog walker, whispering to herd of dachsunds: Mushhhhh…

–Central Park

…High Five!

Girl in short skirt: Hey, that hobo just whistled at me!
Girl in tight pants: Ohmigod, he totally whistled at me like five minutes ago!
Girl in short skirt: Maybe he has something caught in his throat?
Girl in tight pants: No, I think were just really hot.

–Pond Bench, Central Park

Overheard by: A Person with Ears

It's a Small Wednesday One-liner, After All.

Hipster teenage girl: Holy crap, there's a midget! I love seeing midgets in the city. I always text my friends and say "there's a midget following me!"

–Central Park

Woman on cell: You and me can't eat twice. Midgets can eat twice. (pause) And babies can eat twice too!

–5th Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: Kody

Theater teacher: Even though he was under four feet and she was over six feet, it wasn't that weird. I mean, that scene with the deep kissing, when the whole crew is watching, that was kind of… hot. (pause) No, no, I mean, I wasn't sitting there being like, "wow, this midget really turns me on!" I don't go on giantess. Come in my spare time…

–Hunter College High School

Sexy guy: Don't pretend you've never wondered what it would look like to see midgets make 600 chocolate casino dice.

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ladle

My So-Called Wednesday One-Liner

Peter Greene (Zed from Pulp Fiction): What happens in your life if you don't have your gallbladder?

–The Library, East Village

Girl on cell: My life is cursed, Cordelia!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Charlotte

Hobo carrying tall bamboo pole: What a life. Who wants to shoot me in the back?

–Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Overheard by: Publius

Girl to friend: So they, like, told me I should come up to the school for two days and, like, go to some dinner on the first night and then do campus activities the next day. But I don't know. That's, like, two days of my life.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Bystanding Citizen

Little girl to mom: It's okay, mom. I'll just go on and have a good life and never learn how to whistle.

–80th St & Amsterdam Ave