Archive for the ‘Central Park’ Category

Hope Her Charger Has a Really Long Cord

Hippy girl: So yeah, we are gonna be living in this yurt for a year without electricity or running water or anything. It’s all about getting back to our roots and stuff.
Guy: No electricity or anything? What if you have to call someone or something?
Hippy girl: I’ll just use my cell phone. –Central Park Overheard by: Kelly Ernst

Wednesday One-Liners Feel Pretty and Witty and Gay

Flamboyantly gay guy to gay friends: Why do I have to be the queen? Why can’t I just be regular?!

–Christopher Street

Overheard by: JMcheer

Queer to another: I just want to bury my face in his ass!

–67th & Park Ave

Gay guy on cell: Oooh! I love playing straight!

–1st Ave, East Village

Overheard by: B

Stressed gay worker: They always skip over my lunch break. Everyone else gets their lunch breaks but they always skip over mine. Ugh. Guys, I’m gonna take my 15 minutes. I’m taking my 15 minutes. I close tonight… Ugh, this is not the road to success! (storms off)

–H&M Store

Overheard by: nyu kid

Queer to boyfriend: You know Romy and Michelle? I love that movie… That movie made me gay.

–Restaurant, 19th & 8th

Overheard by: batou187

Queer on cell: I know… I know! Gosh, that is sooo gay!
(bewildered elderly lady looks at him)
Queer to elderly lady (in shrieking voice)
: Oh my god, oh my god, the faggot said gay!


–Central Park

Wednesday One-Liners Should Not Be Taken If You Are Pregnant or Nursing

Kid to friend: Is your dad in town? I need Ambien CR.

–Saatchi & Saatchi, Hudson St

Overheard by: dlr

Guy on cell: No, they never came. [Pause.] I just never got them! [Pause.] I told you you can’t just send random pills through the mail!

–Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Strung out middle-aged lesbian: How long does that detox stuff take to work? I need to be clean of the Xanax by my doctor’s appointment next week. He knows I’m on meth, but he can’t find out I’m on Xanax.

–E Train

Worried suit: …But I can’t be on Zoloft, so I don’t know what to do.

–E 14th St

Patient to friend: He asked for an Ensure. He got an Ambien instead.

–NYS Psychiatric Institute

Overheard by: nonrandomerror

Suit: Her meds worked better this audition season -you could tell.

–Oriental Garden

… Or a Swift Punch in the Mouth? Choose Wisely.

Guy: I’ll buy M&Ms.
Kid selling candy: Two dollars.
Guy: So, what year are you in school, bro?
Kid selling candy: Two dollars.
Guy: Do you like school? Are you doing well?
Kid selling candy: [Silence.]
Guy: Well, when I was your age, I didn’t like school either, but just hang in there. Look at me — I worked hard and got to play college football.
Kid selling candy: Do you want the M&Ms?

–Sheep Meadow

Much Wiser Not to Argue It

Cashier: I’m sorry, but weren’t you in that movie? With Kevin Costner?
Joan Allen: Yes, The Upside of Anger. Thanks.
Cashier: I knew it was you! Last time you was in here I kept staring ’cause I knew it was you — remember, I was staring at you? You was so good in that!
Joan Allen: Oh, thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it [pays and leaves].
Cashier to next lady in line: Yeah, last time she was in here I stared at her forever — she must have thought I was crazy.
Lady in line: What movie was she in?
Cashier: ‘The Other Side… of the Angel,’ with Kevin Costner! She was that lady!
Lady in line: I never saw that movie. I thought she was on Lost. I thought she was the lady on Lost — you know, the teacher.
Cashier: Nah, she was in that movie! ‘The Other Side of the Angel.’
Lady in line: The Upside of Anger?
Cashier: No! It’s called ‘The Other Side of the Angel,’ look it up!
Lady in line: Oh. Never seen it.

–Duane Reade, 94th & Broadway

Overheard by: Caro

Global Warming? Really?

Six-year-old daughter: What’s wrong? You’re looking at me like it’s my fault, but you’re saying it’s not my fault, but I get the feeling it is my fault.
Mother: I’m not saying it’s your fault this time. I’m just saying if you keep doing things wrong, it will be your fault.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Ari