Twit: What’s that song Richard Marx sang?
Chick: Right Here Waiting.
Twit: There’s another one.
Chick: I don’t know.
Twit: It’s going to drive me crazy until I remember. Oh wait! I know! Right Here Waiting for You!
Chick: That’s the same song.
–Winnie’s, Chinatown
Archive for the ‘Chinatown’ Category
Full Metal Tuxedo Jacket
Arab man: Did you dance at your wedding?
Marine: I prefer not to think back at that point in my life.
–Casa Bella, Mulberry St.
Just Don’t Ask About the White Sauce
Diner: Your brown sauce; it’s some sort of, um…brown sauce?
Waiter: Yes.
Dining Man: OK, that sounds good.
–Pongsri, Chinatown
Overheard by: Joseph Schoech
Urine: The Other Universal Language
Tourist chick: Of course he doesn’t speak English…at least until you piss on his floor. –Chinatown
Mind the Gap, and the Map
Tourist chick #1: You have to go uptown in order to go downtown to Chinatown.
Tourist chick #2: And I thought this was a non-stop…
–6 Train
Wednesday Coughs Up Some One-Liners
Kid on cell: So I rubbed it really hard and really fast… and I made her throw up.
–Marble Hill High School
Drinker to friend, while playing flip cup: I will throw up in your pussy wagon.
–Whiskey Tavern, Chinatown
Woman: I'm really glad it wasn't the Prozac making her throw up… just her other meds.
–33rd St & Park Ave
Girl: My uterus is vomiting!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Wednesday One-Liners Are Next to a Building Near a Starbucks, Okay?
Girl on cell, looking up: I don't know, nigga! I'm standin' in fronna some ancient castle or some shit.
–Wall St & William St
Southern guy on cell: No, seriously, there's shade on the side of the streets here! (pause) No… No, I know. (pause) I'm sitting on a bench, outside, in the shade!
–Central Park
Locationally-challenged woman on cell: I'm on the street, kinda near Blockbuster?
–Blockbuster, Broadway & 9th
Girl on cell: I'm not sure where I am, everything is Asian.
–Bakery, Chinatown
Middle-aged woman on cell: We're in Soho, and he has a three-legged dog.
–Bowery & Spring
Overheard by: Kaze
Sex, Therapy and Interrogation All Require the Same Skills
Girl: Listen to me!
Asian emo boy: What?
Girl: This is what you need to do with your girlfriend so you can fuck her better!
–Mott Street
Ad: Welcome to New York, the Haters' Buffet!
White college student to Korean friend: Dude, I thought Asian-ness was like… universal!
Korean student, irritably: I hate seeing all these sneaky chinks around.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Someone who can tell Koreans from Chinese…
No More Deer Penis for Me
Tourist woman to husband: Is it all vegetarian?
Guy waiting in doorway: Uh… Yeah.
Tourist woman: Oh. That makes sense.
–Outside Vegeterian Dim Sum, Chinatown
Overheard by: Brok