Archive for the ‘Chinatown’ Category

Daddy’s Favorite Second Choice

Barbershop quarter guy: Hey, she’s walking on the outside. That means she’s available. Tell that guy you’re with that walking on the outside means you’re available.
Guy: Um, she’s my sister. –Spring & Wooster Russian guy: You should introduce me to your sister.
Frat guy: Hell no, man.
Russian guy: I would introduce you to my sister.
Frat guy: Dude, what do you do in your country? Meet in neutral territory and swap family members? –23rd & 10th Overheard by: Mariclair Partee

This Has to Do With Degrassi High How?

Tourist guy: Why are all the signs in Chinese?
New York guy: Because we’re in Chinatown.
Tourist guy: But shouldn’t they have to advertise in English?
New York guy: New York isn’t Quebec.
Tourist guy: What?
New York guy: Dude, you don’t even know the difference between Chinese and Korean, you’ll never understand a reference to Quebecoise French. –Bayard & Mott Overheard by: iiams

Scarlett Johansson's Wearing Wednesday One-Liners This Season

(Asian tourist walks onto subway with large panda-head shaped hat)
Random guy: Take off that silly ass hat! –Uptown 1 Train Guy: When I wear my other coat, I look like a yak. –Mott St Overheard by: robin Thug to friend: I totally know fashion designers. I know who Hill-finger is. –Thompson Street, SoHo Drunk guy to orthodox Jew: Nice lid. –Near Herald Square Guy walking out of subway: Then she came in and told me to put the mask on. –6 Train Overheard by: Sarah History teacher to class: Now, if you want a decent straw hat, do not make one. –Millennium High School Overheard by: Adriana

Every Wednesday One-Liner Has Its Price

Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets. –10 Rockefeller Plaza Overheard by: Jarrod Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options. –Grand St, Chinatown Overheard by: Mike Posillico Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song. –Bx15 Bus Overheard by: Karly Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold! –34th & 3rd Overheard by: Dahouhou Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there. –14th St, across Doomed Megastore Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin

PETA-Approved Wednesday One-Liners

HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks. –E train Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished. –Small diner, Chinatown Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it. –112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam Overheard by: Gigi Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish. –Rue 57, 57th & 6th Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex! –F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection? Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me! –Columbus Circle Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?

Wednesday One-Liners Go Looking for a Vein

Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor? –Grand & Union, Brooklyn Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed! –17th & 8th Ave Overheard by: Dave Little kid: Look, I'm on crack! –Apple Store, Staten Island Mall Overheard by: Robert Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else… –Walgreens, Union Square Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium? –Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: left my opium stash at home 20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did! –Chinatown Bus Overheard by: GavinJoyce Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay." –33rd & 7th Overheard by: EthanK