Teen girl on cell: …you just gotta sit him down and say we’re both pregnant by him and we wanna know if we can get along! –Canal Street JHS boy: Let’s make like a fetus and head out. –Broadway & Washington Place Drunk girl: How could I be pregnant? I like women! –Times Square Thug on cell: Nigga, how you been? Shit, I had five kids since I last seen you! –Elizabeth & Prince Guy on cell: Do we have to wash you and shave you and put a diaper on you before tonight? –Penn Station Overheard by: djlindee
White guy: I feel like I’m taller than everyone.
Indian girl: That’s because you are. Freak! –Canal & Centre
Mother, to four-year-old boy who has just slapped a little girl: Why did you do that?! Give me a reason right now. I demand a reason, now!
Four-year-old boy: I have to control her. –East Broadway
Earth chick on cell: I had meditation and yoga class today. So, if you're coming over tonight we have to have spiritual sex. –Barnes & Noble Guy on cell: You're never going to believe this, but I need to tell you anyways. I just did some witchcraft. –9th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Smoking Student Yoga teacher: Not being able to do something can teach you a lot about yourself. Like how you're a fucking loser. –Midtown Rich white girl with dog in purse: Yeah, so when I went to go buy a dog, I picked Pookie out because he's a Pisces and I'm a Virgo, and that way our personalities will match. –C Train Overheard by: evan White dude to another: I'd like to see what his chi looks like. –Chinatown Overheard by: Aileen
Dude: Thanks for showing me that in the computer program.
Chick: Sure! I like to give everyone a piece once in a while. –Tunnel St, Chinatown
Barbershop quarter guy: Hey, she’s walking on the outside. That means she’s available. Tell that guy you’re with that walking on the outside means you’re available.
Guy: Um, she’s my sister. –Spring & Wooster Russian guy: You should introduce me to your sister.
Frat guy: Hell no, man.
Russian guy: I would introduce you to my sister.
Frat guy: Dude, what do you do in your country? Meet in neutral territory and swap family members? –23rd & 10th Overheard by: Mariclair Partee
Stoner dude #1: Which way is it?
Stoner dude #2: Hold on. Hold on! I need to grapple with the political implications of this pickle. –Canal & Bowery
Hot hipster girl #1: Oh my god, that's a beautiful Buddhist temple!
Hot hipster girl #2: Umm no, that's a Chinese restaurant…
Hot hipster girl #1: Oh well, then it must be really authentic. –Eldridge & Broome
Tourist chick: Of course he doesn’t speak English…at least until you piss on his floor. –Chinatown
Brunette using computer: Have you ever posed naked?
Blonde: Yeah, my ex-boyfriend posted a video of me on the net.
Brunette: Really? What’s the URL?
Blonde: Animal boinks dot com*.
Brunette, finding site: Now what?
Blonde: Click ‘Tami*.’
Brunette: Oh my god! Is that you?
Brunette: You’re fucking a dog!
Blonde: My ex-boyfriend begged me for months to do that.
Brunette: I like man dick. I even like pussy… How could you fuck a dog, you sick bitch?
Blonde: Fuck you! At least I’m not a lesbian!
Brunette: At least I stick to my own species!
Brunette: Sick bitch! You fuck pigs and horses, too?
Blonde: No, just dogs. It was my ex-boyfriend’s idea. And at least I’m not a lesbian.
Brunette: At least I’m not on the net with a pooch eating my cooch!
Chinese nerd-boy at next computer: This is the best conversation I ever heard in my life! –Internet café, Mott St, Chinatown Overheard by: Big Larry