Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at your dick.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at ass.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at pussy.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at your balls.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You’re gay.
Little Chinese Boy #2: Faggot.
–W Train
Archive for the ‘Chinese’ Category
A Homeless Miss Manners
Vagrant: Can you help a homeless man get something to eat? Huh? Ma’am? Did you say no? I can’t hear you!
Chinese Lady: No.
Vagrant: She said no! People, let me hear you!
–6 Train
Little Chinese People
Urban woman: Those little Chinese people never even say “Excuse me”! They’re so fucking goddamn rude! –D Train
NYC Public Bathrooms Are Multi-Multi-Purpose Spaces
Man in bathroom stall to old Chinese man persistently knocking on his door: Look, I only got in here just now. Stop knocking! I'm gonna learn Chinese just to tell you how it is.
Man using urinal: Don't be hatin'.
Man in bathroom stall: Don't be stupid!
–Columbus Park
Parfait.
Man with cowboy hat: I think I'm gonna do the biscuit.
Chinese woman behind counter: Parfait?
Man with cowboy hat: Huh? Um, no. I'm gonna do the biscuit.
Chinese woman: Parfait.
Man with cowboy hat: No, thank you. (walks away)
–Deli, 53rd St
Overheard by: AdHoculi
Political Correctness Is a Real Chink in Our Armor
Young Chinese girl: Nigga!
Mother: Don't say that! You not one of those.
–Produce Market, Forsyth St.
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Make Him Suffer
Chinese girl: Come with me to Ikea on Saturday?
Italian guy: Get a boyfriend!
–Wall St.
The Joy Luck Wednesday One-Liners
20-something guy on cell: I'm sure she wants to castrate me. (pause) Remember her Asian friend, well… (pause) Yeah, I hit that. (pause, then uncontrollable laugh) I gots the yellow fever!
–59th St & 11th
Chinese brother to sister: All Asians get off at this stop. (looking out window) See? They're all Asian. (pause) Oh, wait, there's one English guy.
–Grand Street Stop, D Train
Overheard by: Justin W
Asian girl on cell: You know how people say all Asians look the same? Well, I realized something today. All white people look the same to me–I honestly can't tell them apart!
–Port Authority
20-something Asian girl on cell, in perfect American English: So, I just got welcomed to America for the second time today. Are my clothes that… (with disgust) Asian?
–Metro-North
Overheard by: RedShikari
These Wednesday One-Liners Got Sole!
Woman: Nothing says "ferry terminal" like fish with moustaches.
–Battery Maritime Building
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy in quiet, crowded elevator: Do you know if jellyfish reproduce sexually?
–Google's NYC Office, 15th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Derek
Teen girl to friend: But your shrimp ate a fish alive? Is that what happened? I don't believe you. Shrimp can't eat fish. It's like part of a food chain or something.
–Metro North Railroad
Overheard by: Jessica S.
Excited tourist girl among crowd of Chinese people: I can smell the fish!
–Grand Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Angelina
30-something female customer to H&M employee: Do I smell like I just ate fish?
–H&M
Overheard by: julia
Really drunk girl in front of gallery: I would fuck him for lobster!
–26st St & 10th Ave, Chelsea
Overheard by: Charlotte
Kevin Decides to Get a Fitness Program and Some New Friends
Chinese teen #1: Dude, you are “Fat Kevin” on my cell.
Chinese teen #2: What?
Chinese teen #1: I can't tell all you Kevins' voices! There's a fat Kevin, a skinny Kevin, an Indian Kevin, and just Kevin.
–Internet Cafe, Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: Renata