Archive for the ‘Chinese’ Category

Especially One Who Owns Penn Station

Old Chinese lady: No luggage allowed. Leave it outside. This is my building! I own it!
(College kid, obviously from out of town, leaves in fear)
Old Chinese lady: Puta!
(college kid scurries away)
College kid on cell: Yeah, I did what they say on Law & Order. Never make eye contact with a New Yorker. –Penn Station Entrance Overheard by: kash

The People's Republic of Wednesday One-Liners

Wasp woman, looking at Asian Peoples exhibit: Oh, honey, look, that woman looks just like that woman at that Chinese food place we like! –Museum of Natrual History Overheard by: Heather Older man to Chinese friend: You know, Caucasians really can't tell the difference between the Asians and the Chinese. –23rd St b/w 5th & 6th Ave Overheard by: James Burly bouncer to burnt-out groupie: Don't think of it as a finger, think of it as an Asian penis. –11th & 3rd Tourist on cell: I think I'm heading towards Little Italy, but all I see are Chinese people. I feel like fuckin' Marco Polo. Fuck man, where are you? (trips on curb and falls into pile of trash bags) –Canal St Giggling 20-something: So we hired a new intern, and she's Asian! –Murray Hill Overheard by: sab

No, Seriously — Let’s Hit It

Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me.
Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me!
Gangsta: Man, what are you excusing me about? Fuck you!
Old Chinese lady: Fuck me? Ok, take-a off the pant. Stairway in silence. Old Chinese lady: Ex-see-cus-see me!
Gangsta: Sure thing, ma’am. I’m sorry.
Chinese kid: And that’s why we respect our elders. –Canal St station