Archive for the ‘Chinese’ Category

The Moo Goo Gai Pancakes Will Be Out in a Moment

Chinese waitress, serving food: Chicken Lo Mein?
Teen guy: Chicken oatmeal?
Chinese waitress: Yes.

–St Mark's Place

Overheard by: jamie

Headline by: RaindanceRichard

Runners-Up:
· “Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh?” – re-thinking my breakfast options
· “Avant-Garde Asian Cuisine Was Born Of Language Barriers” – Benjamin
· “Breakfast Of Beijing Olympic Champions” – Morning Glory
· “Lunch Special #27, Peking Duck Pop Tarts” – Bridie
· “Thats What We Call “Blunch”” – amandÅ


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

The People's Republic of Wednesday One-Liners

Wasp woman, looking at Asian Peoples exhibit: Oh, honey, look, that woman looks just like that woman at that Chinese food place we like!

–Museum of Natrual History

Overheard by: Heather

Older man to Chinese friend: You know, Caucasians really can't tell the difference between the Asians and the Chinese.

–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: James

Burly bouncer to burnt-out groupie: Don't think of it as a finger, think of it as an Asian penis.

–11th & 3rd

Tourist on cell: I think I'm heading towards Little Italy, but all I see are Chinese people. I feel like fuckin' Marco Polo. Fuck man, where are you? (trips on curb and falls into pile of trash bags)

–Canal St

Giggling 20-something: So we hired a new intern, and she's Asian!

–Murray Hill

Overheard by: sab

Every Time One of Us Gets a Homosexual Urge, We Take a Shot

Frat guy: Do you guys rent out this place on Monday nights? Me and my buddies want to come back here.
Chinese woman behind bar: Yes. You want to watch football?
Frat guy: No! Gossip Girl!

–Karaoke Bar, Chinatown

Headline by: JakeP.

Runners-Up:
· “And Then We Will Paint Our Nails and Determine Who’s a Blaire and Who’s a Sabrina!” – Doesn’t watch Gossip Girl!

· “BTW, Do You Know How to Make a Cosmo?” – mark
· “Make the Reservation Under Kappa Feather Boa” – PeterG
· “She No Work on Mondays, but Little Lotus Come, You Like?” – Sim Etrias
· “Then It’s Off to Get Our Eyebrows Waxed!” – Sandy Paws
· “We Can’t Masturbate to Football Now That John Madden Retired” – Captain Sensible
· “You Can’t Watch Football on Mani/Pedi Night!” – tatts


Click here to see the new Headline Contest