Archive for the ‘Chinese’ Category

Wednesday-One-Lina, Please!

Ghetto guy: Fuck no! That nigga's soft as cotton.

–Union Square

Black guy: Yo nigga, I called this nigga and said "Yo nigga."

–59th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Satch

Random old black guy sitting alone on steps: Nigga who, nigga what, nigga where, nigga what?

–2nd ave and 8th st

Overheard by: evanescent

Chinese kid to another: Do I look pussy to you, nigga?

–Sunset Park, Brooklyn

White thug on cell: What? You can't call me nigga, you're white!

–Beverley Road & Ocean Parkway

White guy to Dominican guy: Yo, you look like the kinda nigga who gets bitches. Where they at?

–11th & 3rd

Overheard by: Benny the boo

The Director's Cut Of Happy Feet, Perhaps?

Chinese DVD lady: You want DVD? Spiderman, Pirates? All good new movies, you want?
People at table: No, thanks.
Tranny at next table (loudly): Yo mama you got any pornos in there? Hmm, I want something with dick in it, big dicks. You got anything?

–37th Ave Subway, After Gay Parade

Overheard by: Empty Refrigerator

Especially One Who Owns Penn Station

Old Chinese lady: No luggage allowed. Leave it outside. This is my building! I own it!
(College kid, obviously from out of town, leaves in fear)
Old Chinese lady
: Puta!

(college kid scurries away)
College kid on cell
: Yeah, I did what they say on Law & Order. Never make eye contact with a New Yorker.


–Penn Station Entrance

Overheard by: kash

Fine, I’ll Count My Blessings. Whatever.

Woman receiving massage: Do you fix a broken heart?
Chinese masseuse: What? What you say. Heart? Pain? Heart not good?
Woman: I said, do you fix a broken heart?
Chinese masseuse: Hmmm… You heart is good! No bad! No worry! You healthy — very, very good!
Woman: Oh… Good…

–Massage parlor, Mott St

Hardly. I Studied with the Bejing Opera

Black chick: What kind of soup do you got?
Chinese deli guy: Uhhh, we got some chicken noodle soup.
Black chick: Oh, just chicken noodle soup?
Chinese deli guy, singing and dancing: With a soda on the side! [Black chick glares at him in silence.] Uhhh, yeah, that’s all.
Black chick: That’s fuckin’ ign’ant, man.

–106th & 2nd