Professor: Why do people take drugs? Because their lives suck. That's right…all of you. –Manhattan College Chemistry professor, discussing quantum physics: If you beat on something hard enough, you can get it to do what you want! –St. John's University, New York City Property professor, after playing Barbra Streisand's version of "Not While I'm Around": Now, is that the same song as Steven Sondheim's version in Sweeney Todd?? (dreamily) Well, when Barbra Streisand does a song…is it ever the same song? –St. John's Law School Overheard by: Cori Professor: If Obama wins the election, I'll buy you all beer. –The Cooper Union Professor: So the way Saint Augustine broke the Lord's commandment not to steal (nobody in class is listening) Was all just his way of honoring the Lord's law, by creating his own. It's sort of like when you have a child that's not allowed to stay up past nine but he knows his parents can stay up as late as they want, so in an act of rebellion he smears his shit all over the walls. –NYU Professor: Now, for your presentations, there is a time limit. If you go over nine minutes, I will cut you. (silent pause) …off. –City College of New York
Lady lawyer: I think Christians are generally taller.
Boy attorney #1: So if a Korean was to convert to Christianity, he’d get taller?
Boy attorney #2: Sure, if he prayed hard enough. –Office, 45th & 5th
Woman: I know why you’re doing this [handing out flyers.]
Jew for Jesus: Oh, why?
Woman: Because you’re jealous that we have Christmas and you all want to be able to put up a tree and lights and decorate! –Bensonhurst Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Crazy homeless guy: Ya see, I don’t like the Baptists, because I’m a Roman Catholic. But I would hire a Baptist man, because I like the doughnuts. –4 train Overheard by: Russ Wall Little boy skipping: I did not commit a sin! –Central Park Yuppie chick on cell: It’s really easy to convert to Protestantism. All you have to do is kill a few Catholics, Martin Luther King style. Okay, I gotta go, I have a train to catch. –Montague St, Brooklyn Overheard by: I’d like to know where she studied history Man bowing head: Hail Mary, full of– ah, fuck it. –Northbound Q train
Girl: I’m just worried that she’s going to be scary. I mean, talk about Bible stories, but not the Devil, or going to hell. They’re 5 year olds.
Guy: I wouldn’t worry about that.
Girl: Just, you know, some Christians are crazy.
Guy: I’m more worried that they’ll want to be naked and she’ll be offended. –1 train Overheard by: Nadine
Black Santa takes off his beard, puts a cigarette in his mouth and starts to adjust his crotch.
Little girl in stroller: Daddy, why is Santa smoking?
Daddy: Well, obviously it’s a fake Santa…
Other passersby, scolding: Santa!
Black Santa: What? Santa’s gotta friggin’ fix himself sometimes, don’t he? –Rockefeller Christmas tree Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Chick: I think the angel is an appropriate icon for me.
Guy: I think ben-wa balls may have been more appropriate. –1 train Overheard by: djlindee
Professor: Martin Luther King, Jr had women in his hotel room. He was running around on Coretta.
Student: Maybe, they were studying the bible.
Professor: Well, she may have been calling out Jesus's name. But they sure as hell weren't reading the bible.
Slow girl, five minutes later: Oh, I get it. Ew! –Baruch College Overheard by: kteezy
Obama volunteer, on super Tuesday: Have you had a chance to make it out to the polls yet?
Old woman, angrily: I don’t like Muslims. [walks past].
Volunteer: Ummmm… [shouts after her] he’s Christian!
Old woman, turning back, even angrier: No he’s not! –53rd & Lexington Overheard by: NCS
Crazy preacher guy: If you think I'm not telling the truth, fine. But on Judgement Day you will pay for all those times you didn't go to church.
Passenger: Hey, it's Easter Sunday…shouldn't you be in church?
Crazy preacher guy: Oh, shit. –1 Train