Archive for the ‘Church’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Browsing

Flamboyant foreigner: I changed my MySpace to say I like girls.

–Washington Square Park

Suit on cell: I'm gonna twitter my fucking ass off tonight.

–City Hall

Overheard by: Samantha Sharifi

Girl on cell: Do they not have people in the US that follow the Blue Book? They have to get some guy from Oxford butt fuck to do it? It's so annoying. It's so annoying! Like, I want to take a strap on and fuck my computer. Well, not my computer, but the guy's computer, for having done this to me.

–11th St & 5th Ave

Middle aged African American woman to group of friends: I'm going on MySpace to comment that she abandoned her child!

–8th Ave & 42nd St

Businesswoman to friend: I just like having a family, you know? And you can't get that on Craigslist.

–33rd St.

Overheard by: Rio

High school girl with iPod: Do you think this church has Wi-Fi?

–St. Paul's Catholic Church

Or Have the Pigeons Grown Weary Of My Great Depression Stories?

Gramps: Those bags from the store…
(children and mother laugh).
Mother
: You're talking very loud.

Gramps: What–are we in church? Did I wake somebody up?
(children and mother continue laughing)
Gramps
: What did I do wrong? Should I go sit outside?


–Doctor's Office, Central Park West

Overheard by: Erick B

Wednesday One-Liners Grow Up Faster in the City

Little girl to woman walking by: Oh, look–another person, sooooo interesting. It's not like we haven't seen enough of those today.

–D'Agnostino's, Greenwich & Barrow

Overheard by: Margo

Boy walking in church to mom: And when we walk in we'll hear Gregorian chants.

–Trinity Church

Four-year-old boy, after plane's smooth landing: Whoa, that was solid!

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: jen

Kid at birthday party: I thought they were feeding us ice cream, not shit!

–McDonald's, Bayside

Adorable child having a temper tantrum: I don't want to walk, I want to go in the stroller!
(mother ignores him) I'm melting… I'm meeelllting!

–New York Transit Museum

Overheard by: NatalyaPetrovna

In the Name Of the Father, the Son, and the Wednesday One-Liner

Husband pushing carriage to wife: You're lucky I'm on my way to church right now, or I'd kill you.

–Upper West Side

Chick on cell: But the real question is, is he Catholic? And an insomniac?

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Sequined Australian drag queen: Well, I know an Antichrist religion when I see it.

–2nd St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Alisha

Girl on phone: He told me he was raped by a Catholic priest when he was little, but like I don't believe him.

–Butler Library, Columbia University

Train conductor: 110th Street, Cathedral Parkway. There are churches here, you know.

–1 Train

Man to woman, after getting off cell phone: Ah, that was Nancy–booty call. She says I gotta get over there before she's got to go to church.

–Q Train

Overheard by: spygirl