Girl: Later at night, my tongue gets sore because I’ve been playing with it so much. –St. Mark’s Place
Archive for the ‘Circumcision’ Category
Mamma Mia, That's a Spicy Matzoh Ball!
Guy #1: You must be Italian.
Guy #2: Uh…no, I'm Jewish.
Guy #1: Are you sure? You really look Italian.
Guy #2: Of course I'm sure. What do I have to do to prove it to you?
Guy #3: I don't like where this is going.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Jenya
The City Has Something for Everyone
Large black girl: Damn, elephant dicks is so disgusting! I don't want no uncircumcised dicks! (to white guy walking by) I know you is circumcised, baby!
White guy (without slowing down): Long and cut.
Large black girl: Damn! I want me a dick like that!
–Outside Veniero's, 11th St
Overheard by: Just here for coffee
My Personal Carbon Offset
Bimbette: Well, the human brain weighs 3 lbs.
Friend: So?
Bimbette: So, I'm not really 110. I'm really 107. If you don't count my brain.
–A Train
And We Get to Be the Chosen People–Totally Worth It
20-something guy to date: Yeah, I had mine done by a real mohel.
20-something girl, awkwardly: Oh, really?
20-something guy: Yep, the guy's whole job is to go around chopping off babies' dicks.
–American Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: dream profession?
Wednesday One-Liners: Bigger, Longer, Uncut
Guy: And I was thinking how lucky I was not to have had a bris. That guy had like eight of them!
–Thai Restaurant
Overheard by: sara swank
Girl: Wait, are you circumcised? In the penis?
–Wicked Monk, 86th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: christine
Beautiful Latina: But my dad getting circumcised at 57 wasn’t even the funniest thing!
–Dallas BBQ, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Ladle
Teen on cell: So, they were going to uncircumcise it?
–Flatbush Ave & 7th Ave, Brooklyn
Teen girl: Oh my god, my circumcised hot dog!
–The Summit School
Overheard by: Michael
CVS employee on cell: Yo, that nigga be gangsta son, he be gangsta. That nigga be circumcised, he all "what?" that nigga fall down, he be "waah, waah" then be be right back up playing an shit. Yeah, that nigga’s gangsta.
–CVS, 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Robyn
Um, Why?
Student #1, on Jewish circumcision: Isn’t it, like, they cut off your foreskin and put it on your head?
Student #2: Oh my god, that is so awesome! If you could get foreskin yarmulkes, I would totally become Jewish.
–NYU
I Feel Suffocated by Barbaric Convention!
Four-year-old boy, frantically: Mommy! I can’t breathe!
Mother: What?
Four-year-old boy: I can’t breathe!
Mother: Are you kidding?
Four-year-old boy: No, I can’t breathe!
Mother: Why? What’s wrong?
Four-year-old boy: I can’t breathe ’cause the doctor cut my penis!
–Brooklyn Heights
And They Decided to Go with Beef Instead of Salmon?!
Guy #1: Hey… Ummm, by any chance did you get some sort of invitation in the mail from Jerry and Marcia?
Guy #2: I know! Who the fuck gets their 13-year-old circumcised in front of public masses like that?
–14th & 7th
And Here’s Me Just Using Mine for Sex and Pissing Like a Sucker!
NYU bimbette #1: I found out he’s uncircumcised.
NYU bimbette #2: I know. I can tell from the way he talks.
–NYU dorm lobby
Overheard by: ashamed