Guy #1: So, I’m thinking about getting circumcised.
Guy #2: Oh, okay then.
–Elevator, 181st St
Overheard by: LSB
Archive for the ‘Circumcision’ Category
Captain Morgan
Woman: Yeah, you know, my oldest son’s father wasn’t circumcised.
Friend: Really?
Woman: Yeah.
Friend: What’d it taste like?
–12th St & 5th Ave
Wednesday One-liners Seek Medical Attention
Doctor: Well, I can’t guarantee that after the circumcision it will look exactly like what you described. –New York Presbyterian Hospital Guy: I need to see a doctor. I’m not dying, but I have a leaking, stinking navel. –Doctor’s office, 67th & Amsterdam
Man, That Hobo Sure Gets Around
Hipster chick #1: …So I was giving this guy a handjob and he wasn’t circumcised…it was so bizarre looking.
Hipster chick #2: I know, isn’t it so weird? I’m all like, “What am I supposed to do with that thing at the top? Touch it, play with it, leave it alone?”
–5th & A
Girl #1: I just saw a bum peeing on 88th Street.
Girl #2: Was it big?
Girl #1: I didn’t notice. He was a bum. Even if he had John Holmes’ cock, I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole.
Girl #2: Was it big?
Girl #1: Not really.
–6 train
Overheard by: Matt Montini
Add Some Lazer Tag and It’s Scientology
Guy: So I don’t get it…shouldn’t doctors be the ones who do circumcisions?
Girl: Um…they do.
Guy: Well I thought, you know, those guys in the robes with the altar and the ceremony…Oh wait, that’s baptism.
–Times Square
Wednesday One-liners are a Special Area
Guy: I got both, bitch! I got a pussy and a dick! –6th Avenue & 9th Street Chick: He was my rag guy! What am I going to do now? I’m gonna dry up. If you stick your ear up to my vagina you’re going to hear the fucking desert like it’s a seashell. –43rd & 5th Overheard by: James Wilson Burkha woman: …when you remove a man’s genitals, it’s a sin. –Port Authority Guy on cell: I’m busy. I’m getting my dick sucked right now. –4 train Overheard by: LatiE Guy: It wasn’t till I started college that I realized they had botched the circumcision. We had all just flopped them out and I was like, “Dude, what is wrong with yours?”, and they were like, “No man, it’s you, what the fuck happened to you? It looks like the fucking rings of saturn.” –38th & 3rd Suit: If you’re a dick you can do anything. –Maiden Lane & Pearl Street Overheard by: SKG Man on cell: So I was trying to take a pee and she kept talking to me, so then my dick got hard and I couldn’t pee. –25th & 5th Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson Lady on cell: He’s a hermaphrodite…he was born that way…his grandparents, thats why. Genetic mutations and stuff. –50th & Madison Chick: But he has a pierced dick! They don’t sell that shit in stores! –SI party Overheard by: Rebecca Dash
Wednesday One-liners: The Next Generation
Thug: I need a girl who’s responsible and don’t got no kids. –40th & 5th Dude: Are we talking about the truth now? The truth is that you’re scared that she’s going to take your son away from you! –27th Street office Black guy on cell: Yeah, it was actually all right. We were both circumcised. –Union Square greenmarket Overheard by: Lisa Ramaci