Archive for the ‘Circumcision’ Category

Um, Why?

Student #1, on Jewish circumcision: Isn’t it, like, they cut off your foreskin and put it on your head?
Student #2: Oh my god, that is so awesome! If you could get foreskin yarmulkes, I would totally become Jewish. –NYU

I Feel Suffocated by Barbaric Convention!

Four-year-old boy, frantically: Mommy! I can’t breathe!
Mother: What?
Four-year-old boy: I can’t breathe!
Mother: Are you kidding?
Four-year-old boy: No, I can’t breathe!
Mother: Why? What’s wrong?
Four-year-old boy: I can’t breathe ’cause the doctor cut my penis! –Brooklyn Heights

Man, That Hobo Sure Gets Around

Hipster chick #1: …So I was giving this guy a handjob and he wasn’t circumcised…it was so bizarre looking.
Hipster chick #2: I know, isn’t it so weird? I’m all like, “What am I supposed to do with that thing at the top? Touch it, play with it, leave it alone?” –5th & A Girl #1: I just saw a bum peeing on 88th Street.
Girl #2: Was it big?
Girl #1: I didn’t notice. He was a bum. Even if he had John Holmes’ cock, I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole.
Girl #2: Was it big?
Girl #1: Not really. –6 train Overheard by: Matt Montini

Wednesday One-liners are a Special Area

Guy: I got both, bitch! I got a pussy and a dick! –6th Avenue & 9th Street Chick: He was my rag guy! What am I going to do now? I’m gonna dry up. If you stick your ear up to my vagina you’re going to hear the fucking desert like it’s a seashell. –43rd & 5th Overheard by: James Wilson Burkha woman: …when you remove a man’s genitals, it’s a sin. –Port Authority Guy on cell: I’m busy. I’m getting my dick sucked right now. –4 train Overheard by: LatiE Guy: It wasn’t till I started college that I realized they had botched the circumcision. We had all just flopped them out and I was like, “Dude, what is wrong with yours?”, and they were like, “No man, it’s you, what the fuck happened to you? It looks like the fucking rings of saturn.” –38th & 3rd Suit: If you’re a dick you can do anything. –Maiden Lane & Pearl Street Overheard by: SKG Man on cell: So I was trying to take a pee and she kept talking to me, so then my dick got hard and I couldn’t pee. –25th & 5th Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson Lady on cell: He’s a hermaphrodite…he was born that way…his grandparents, thats why. Genetic mutations and stuff. –50th & Madison Chick: But he has a pierced dick! They don’t sell that shit in stores! –SI party Overheard by: Rebecca Dash