Archive for the ‘City College’ Category

All You Need Is Wednesday One-Liner

Announcer guy: Hey girl, I love your face. And Charmin loves the other end! –Charmin NYC Restrooms, Times Square Overheard by: Nathan Drunk boyfriend: Thanksgiving is over, and so is our love! –Grand & Leonard, Williamsburg Overheard by: fanny Subway busker, about next song: This is not a love song. The reason that this is not a love song is because I don't like her anymore. –Time Square Philosophy professor on last day of class: If you love something, set it free. And if it flies away, run after it and kill it. –City College Overheard by: Dan Lurie 20-something guy to friend sharing iPod with him: I would do anything to live there…I would pretend to be in love. –Downtown 6 Train Overheard by: dallas Woman on cell: I will skin and tar you. (pause) Oh, I love you! –W Broadway & W 3rd St

Wednesday One-Liners Call the Hotline Every Week

Teen girl, despairingly: If they ever find out a way to bring people back to life, I’m going to kill myself! –14th St Subway Platform Overheard by: yoncto Blonde on cell: Don’t send me stupid things about how you want to stab yourself in the heart. It’s inconsiderate. –Union Square Overheard by: Confabulation Nation Hipster: I’m so stressed out right now; if I was going to NYU, I would’ve jumped out of a building. –City College Overheard by: Damn Right! Guy on cell: You took them with alcohol? [Pause.] Wait, let me get this straight, you took all of them, then you got drunk? Yeah dude, that is just suicide. –Elevator, Saks Fifth Ave Old waitress: Were you here the time Jimmy crucified himself? –Manhattan Restaurant, Greenpoint Overheard by: chris Disgruntled Latina to friend: And I told her bitch: "Kill yourself, you don’t even know how to smoke right!" –4 Train