Archive for the ‘Cleanliness’ Category

No Wednesday One-Liner, No Love

50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers! –14th & 6th Overheard by: Funky Monkey Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already! –2nd Ave & 9th Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times! –Times Square Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that? –Astor Place Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection! –Babies"R"Us, Union Square Overheard by: miziz

She Got Eight Volunpeers

Girl #1: Ew, you’re holding on to the bar?
Girl #2: Yeah, I’m holding on to the bar. If I don’t I’ll fall over.
Girl #1: Ew. That is so gross. That’s like the one thing that grosses me out more than anything.
Girl #2: It’s just a bar.
Girl #1: No, you don’t understand. I would rather have someone pee on my face than touch that thing. –N train

Funny, That's What #96B269 Said…..

Excited girlfriend: Hey, are these soap bars?
Disinterested boyfriend: I don't know, why don't you drop one and find out? –Bath & Body Works Headline by: Harriet Runners-Up:
· “And Nine Months Later…” – Junior
· “Dating Ex-Cons Has Its Drawbacks” – Mike
· “Part Of Bloomberg’s “Clean Up the Village!” Program?” – Bobo D Clown
· “Prison Etiquette 101” – Kosi
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners Call It an “Eating Plan”

Squeaky blonde: When I feel like that after drinking too much I just totally stick my finger down my throat. I don't wake up with a hangover, and it saves calories too! –Blarney Rock Pub Overheard by: Ant928 Dumpy middle aged lady: I haven't lost any weight, but I'm still alive. So… I'm pretty proud of myself. –Union Square Girl: You should have to pay by the calorie. That'd make people less fat. –Chipotle, Broadway Overheard by: Confabulation Nation Five-year-old boy to mom: Hey, mom, this energy drink has 10 calories less then the Monster drink! –7-Eleven Overheard by: CatVonD NYU student: You know when you're on a diet, and you wash your face with apricot cleanser? It smells so good that you just want to, like, eat it! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: melbert